


I wonder if you wonder about me, too

by Mimmi_ger



Series: Fools, Sinners, Liars [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Draco´s a friend, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Female Harry Potter, M/M, Multi, Pining, Slow Burn, Slow Romance, Teacher-Student Relationship, Tutoring, Violence, Voldemort dies in ministry, actually good Snape, rose potter - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-17
Updated: 2018-05-09
Packaged: 2019-04-24 04:06:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 18
Words: 43,108
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14347644
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mimmi_ger/pseuds/Mimmi_ger
Summary: Rose Potter vanquishes the Dark Lord, actually by mere accident. Finally she can be a normal teenager and promptly falls in love for the first time in her life. A shame the happy bloke is no one else than Severus Snape. And the already complicated situation gets even more complicated as Voldemort´s former followers regroup and seek revenge for their master´s downfall.Can Rose find happiness and something like normalcy in her otherwise chaotic life?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello to everyone!
> 
> First of all, this story will be a multi-chapter-fic in several parts. It is actually already complete but I´m still editing.  
> As it came to me it was only a short idea but somehow developed a life of its own and wouldn´t stop growing until it had it´s final size. I´m not sure yet how much and when I will upload but I´ve planned at least every other day a new chapter.  
> In the course of posting I will add some tags as needed.
> 
>    
> Update 12.03.2019: I take back the "already completed" part. Sorry. When I started posting this story was indeed complete, but then while working on it again I started rewriting whole chapters and finally changed some major things which have left me rewriting from part 4 ongoing. But, good thing is parts 1 to 5 are indeed complete by now and I´m currently uploading part 6 while still writing it.

<<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>> 

The rolling and crashing of the waves sounded like whispers: getting louder then quieter, subduing to murmurs, softly grazing the sand…no, the stones on the beach. Small stones, pebbles, rounded and smoothed by the force and endurance of the water.

Rose smiled softly and breathed in. Frowned. Inhaled again. It should smell salty, shouldn´t it? And were not gulls and other seabirds supposed to shriek and fill the air with the fluttering sound of their wings? But all Rose could hear were the waves.

Cautiously she cracked one eye open.

The blinding brightness around her made her flinch and squeeze her eyes tightly shut. A nagging headache began to thrum behind her temples. Her throat was dry and sore. Merlin, what happened?

Again she opened her eyes, slower this time and only enough that she could make out her surroundings, what was fairly difficult without her glasses. But what she saw was depressingly obvious not the ocean or any kind of beach. She was in a room. Bright and mostly white. She recognised the smell. No wonder, she knew it almost by heart, had smelled it far too often over the last years: potions, salves, tea and antiseptics, something even a wizard infirmary had in common with a muggle one.

Yes, the infirmary. And now the wave sound made sense too: voices, low conversation behind a half closed door at the far end of the room.

With a groan Rose opened her eyes completely and tried to sit up, what presented itself as impossible. She simply flopped back into the pillow. Her head spun slightly and she tried to swallow but there was no spittle to moisturise even just her lips or unstick her tongue from the roof of her mouth not to speak of enough to swallow. She tried instead to clear her throat what resulted only in choking and made her almost throw up, but at least it brought attention to her.

“Rose!” Molly Weasley was the first who reached her, closely followed by Sirius, Remus and Ron and Hermione. “God, how are you? We were so worried. Can I do anything for you? Water? Are you hungry? Is this warm enough? Are you too hot?” The woman rambled on and on without even waiting for an answer.

Rose´s headache grew from mild throbbing to an orchestra of trombones and drums raging behind her eyes with increasing volume. Pained, she closed her eyes and tried to shut out Molly´s voice but thankfully Madam Pomfrey silenced her effectively with sending her to inform the Headmaster. Rose sighed audible as a pleasant chill cloth was placed on her forehead and the rest of the small group waited thank goodness silently.

“Here, drink this.” The matrons soft voice was balm for her head just like the potion she made her gulp. It tasted not as bad as feared but still vile enough not to desire to repeat it too soon. A rougher hand than Madam Pomfrey´s, but still gentle, brushed a stray strand of hair from her face. Rose blinked and looked straight into Sirius´ sorrow-stricken, tired face.

“´M ´key,” she rasped barely identifiable and took his hand.

The pain in her head faded with every minute and by the time Professor Dumbledore arrived, Rose sat up in her bed and sipped cautiously on a cup of tea, her glasses firmly in place on her nose.    

“Thank Merlin you woke finally up, my dear, dear girl!” Dumbledore beamed and twinkled down at her from the end of the bed, one could undoubtedly tell how relieved the old man was to see her on the road to recovery.

“Yes…What happened? What day is it?” Now that Dumbledore was here she noticed she hadn´t asked anything before and her curiosity waved enthusiastically at her for attention.

“Well, what happened is a good question and a great deal of it is something only you can tell us. For how long you´re here…It´s Wednesday…” Rose started to interrupt but Dumbledore lifted one hand to silence her. “The 25th of June, you were unconscious for a week.”

“I…Oh…”

“Yes. Do you remember anything?” the Headmaster inquired curiously.

Rose frowned and looked at her friends before gazing at Sirius.

Sirius…Voldemort had captured him and tortured and…wait. No. Not true. Rose´s eyes returned to Dumbledore.

“He tricked me. Voldemort tricked me to belief Sirius were in danger. I…We left Hogwarts and searched for Sirius in the Ministry. But it was a trap and then…then we fought against Death Eaters and then the Order was there and…

_Bellatrix laughed hysterically, shooting curses everywhere. Everything happened simultaneously but then time slowed seemingly down. Rose stared at Bellatrix who aimed at Sirius. In a split second, Rose reacted and screamed, “Tegumentum maximum!” Without acknowledging that or even if her spell worked, she leapt to Sirius knocking him down on the floor. Bellatrix´ curse hit her in the back, but her shield-spell deflected it against the stone archway. Rose scrambled to her feet and furiously chased a cackling Bellatrix out of the room, through a corridor and up into the Atrium._

_Then suddenly Voldemort was there, laughing and ridiculing her. Rose let him, felt how cold fury got hold of her. She threw curse after curse and then again reacted only on instinct as she whirled around._

_“Sphera candens!” Her voice was rough from shouting and her breath came in rapid pants, the world around her began to spin, she was so tired, barely able to keep standing. Her spell, a bright ball of light, dashed away, though she had no idea if it was the right direction. Suddenly the Atrium was illuminated by a blinding, bright blue light as her spell smashed into and conjoined with the curses of her opponents. Some still awake and alert part of her mind forced her to cast a body shield. Like before in the room with the stone archway, she used “Tegumentum maximum”, but her eyes were no longer able to focus, her ears rang with shouts, laughter and curses from Bellatrix and Voldemort. She barely registered the blinding light coming closer, just before her legs gave way and the world turned black._

_Next thing Rose knew as she found to herself again, she felt weird. Like she didn´t exist in a corporal way anymore. The light around her was dim, but somewhat warm and comforting. There was nothing else, except voices. She couldn´t make out where, but she heard them. Though hearing might´ve not been the right term for this experience, as for her it seemed as if the voices drifted in and out of her but were always there. She decided to simply stick with “hearing”. Still, she couldn´t make out what the voices were saying. She tried to focus more on them, but only slowly and with great effort she picked up some words. But it all made no sense. Everything she heard was like coming from a badly adjusted radio, loud, quiet, squeaking sounds and static noise._

_What the hell was going on? Rose listened more intently and after a while she thought she might recognise the problem, but before she really could name it, she got distracted. Her limited senses, well, sensed that the light around her was changing. It became brighter and with that she started to see clearer and feel her body again. She forgot immediately about the voices and looked around._

_She seemed to be in some kind of library. There were heavy loaded shelves with ancient looking books, but instead of a floor there were grass and flowers, quite a lot flowers and then she saw butterflies and heard birds´ twittering. It was wonderful: Calm and absolutely beautiful. With wide eyes, she started to explore her surroundings. She saw a silvery glittering in the distance._

_Distance…Merlin, how big was this place?_

_Nosey as ever, she went in the direction of the glittering and, suddenly, was already there. Under a big, old willow stood two armchairs. The one with its backrest showing towards her was obviously occupied as she noticed silvery white hair over the edge. As she rounded the chair to find out who sat there, she stopped rooted to the very spot and gawped thunderstruck at a very, very, very familiar face._

_“Ah, Rose! What a nice place!” Albus Dumbledore beamed at her._

_“Professor? What….What, are you doing here? I mean, where is here and what happened?”_

_“Ah, yes, quite down to the important questions,” he chuckled quietly. “But nonetheless…You are right. We need to sort things out and see that you make an important decision – rather fast I´m afraid.”_

_Rose looked puzzled and had no idea what to reply._

_“Do you remember your fight with Voldemort?” Dumbledore asked calmly and gestured for her to sit down._

_“Yes.”_

_“Good, good, good. Let´s see. First things first. Your amour-spell is quite impressive, my dear girl.” Dumbledore´s everlasting twinkle expanded and he smiled even broader at her but Rose still only stared. “Would it have been weaker we wouldn't sit here now and talk." Again Dumbledore smiled his kind smile before he went on in his explanations. “The spells coalesced before they hit you. Your shield deflated under the impact, BUT only after the spells rebound and struck Voldemort directly where one would expect a heart. He collapsed. You collapsed. Neither of you moved. I was at your side before anyone. I felt the last fluttering heartbeats before your heart fully stopped working. Voldemort´s restored body vanished in a pile of dust as your heart stopped.”_

_“Stopped? So, I…I am dead?” Rose tried very hard not to cry, but there was already a great lump in her throat and tears prickled in her eyes._

_“Yes and no. I´m afraid it is quite complicated.”_

_“But how can it be complicated? I mean, you said my heart stopped. Does that not implicate that I´m dead?”_

_“That’s the crux of the matter.”_

_Rose felt all of a sudden dizzy and nauseous as the world threatened to topple over while spinning faster and faster around her. She clawed on her chair and tried feverishly to wrap her mind around all of it._

_Dumbledore leant forward and patted calmingly her hand._

_“Don´t worry, I will tell you from the start. This all is about  young Tom Riddle who pursued two goals.  One was to rule and reform the whole wizarding community by his standards of hate against muggles and muggle-born, the second was his frantic search of reaching immortality. During his education in Hogwarts he then found indeed a way: Horcruxes. This is a dark technique to store a part of your soul in an object. What means as long as this object stays intact you are not able to die. Well not in the common sense of the word. But let’s go on. On some point he succeeded and made his first Horcrux by murdering his muggle father and his grandparents. But before he could hide the first one properly and even make some more, what I know he´d planned, he decided to act upon the Prophecy and eliminate the danger he anticipated coming from you. What a major mistake, don´t you think?” Dumbledore gazed at Rose but waited not for an answer. “Hadn´t it been for this one Horcrux, it would, most likely, have been his downfall right there, 15 years ago. But one Horcrux was enough, as I think. And then something else happened, something Tom hadn't foreseen: not able to die he splitted his soul once again in his attempt to murder you. After he vanished into near nothingness, the remaining soul fragment slipped into the only living thing nearby. You._

_This is why the Sorting Hat was unsure either to put you into Slytherin or Gryffindor. This is why you had those visions, this link with Voldemort. This is why you speak Parsel. Can you maybe guess what happened with his first Horcrux?” Dumbledore smiled encouragingly at Rose who, due to the entirety of new information, was not sure what to think at all. She blinked a few times, head reeling._

_“I guess it was destroyed at some point?” she asked eventually feebly, but Dumbledore clapped and cheered._

_“Yes! Yes! And the best part is: it´s you! Tom´s diary was his first Horcrux. He never meant it to stay unprotected in the open, but for him it was too late to hide it and none of his followers knew of the real nature of the diary. Can you see now why I said it's complicated? You inherited a part, even though a rather small one, of Voldemort´s soul. What made you his last safety line to cling to life. Not a real Horcrux but something similar to that. Now the last curse hit both of you. And as I told you he’s gone means that your death destroyed the soul fragment within you.”_

_“But then I don't see why it is complicated. I'm dead and so is Voldemort.”_

_Dumbledore shook his head slowly from one side to the other, regarding Rose with a long gaze._

_“Once again: Yes and no. The foreign soul within you is dead. But its dying pulled you with it. That leaves you now with the choice. You will survive but only when you decide to live, to go back.”_

_“You mean...” Rose stood up and walked a few steps away, frowning and staring into the width of this…what actually? “I still don´t know where we are,” Rose wondered lowly._

_“In your mind, my girl. I established a mental link, not unlike Legilimency, to come here,” Dumbledore said calmly. Rose heard, even though she didn´t turn around, that he still smiled._

_“Ok. And if I choose to stay here, I will be dead, for real?”_

_“It seems so.” Dumbledore sighed._

_Rose closed her eyes. Through her whole life other people had made decisions for her, including Dumbledore, he maybe even more than anyone else. But was that reason enough to stop fighting? If yes, what did that say about her? How could she even consider not coming back, now that she obviously vanquished Voldemort? She still had a whole life in front of her. A whole life in which she needn´t worry anymore about a Dark Lord who wanted her dead._

_Suddenly another thought struck Rose and she turned around, facing Dumbledore._

_“Professor what is with the Death Eaters?”_

_A somehow sad smile swapped over Dumbledore´s face._

_“I´m afraid they´re gone. They fled as soon as Voldemort was destroyed.”_

_“Gone? But what happens now?”_

_“The Order is already on its way to search for them and the Ministry will combine its forces with us.”_

_Rose rethought all of it, but there had never been real doubt, right? How could she decide not to live?_

_“I can´t stay here, no matter how peaceful it is. I must come back. There is too much undone in my life. What must I do?”_

_“Well my dear girl, I am afraid you have to figure it out by yourself. But be sure we will await you,” with these words Dumbledore disappeared as if he´d never been there._

_“Great,” Rose sighed and sat again in the armchair. What next?_

_Looking around, she decided to go back to the beginning. The moment she thought it, she stood in the middle of the bookshelves. Oh when real life would be so simple. Rose searched the backs of the books, hoping to find something, anything, that might help her._

_After a while of futile reading, she remembered the voices. It took her quite some time to hear them again, but the more she heard the foggier became her vision. She blinked again and heard Sirius cry out, clear and much closer than before, ”She’s coming back. Oh thank Merlin!”_

_Then Rose felt herself swept up into a bear hug..._

“After that everything went black again and next I woke up here,” Rose ended her marathon of a story. Her throat felt raw again, like she´d tried to swallow sand. Remus handed her a glass of water. Gratefully she drank. Everyone was unexceptional quiet and stared mostly wide-eyed at her. Sirius held her hand and squeezed it almost painfully while his jaw worked furiously.

“You look like you never heard the story before,” Rose grated out before she cleared her throat. A deep frown creased her forehead.

“We haven´t. You´ve been unconscious and Dumbledore busy,” Sirius emphasized the last word with a sour expression.

Before anyone could say more, Madam Pomfrey buzzed forward.

“That´s enough for today. The girl needs at least one more day of piece. Out everyone.” Vigorous like always, she shooed all visitors away. But Dumbledore was the only one complying. Rose´s friends and family borrowed just a few more minutes while one or the other discussed this and that with Madam Pomfrey.

*******

Dumbledore left the infirmary with a content smile. He turned to walk down the corridor as someone stepped out of the shadows, completely clad in black robes with an omnipresent scowl on his pale face.

“Ah, Severus, I haven´t suspected **you** here of all people.”

“Headmaster.” The Potions Professor inclined his head in a greeting gesture. “I merely was on my way to my chambers.”

“Oh, of course.” Dumbledore twinkled amused with his eyes. Both men knew perfectly well that the infirmary was not even roughly the way to the dungeons and that it was nothing short of a detour to walk this way. “If you wonder, Rose is awake and in the best of health though still exhausted. Poppy will let her leave most likely tomorrow.”

“Thank you for this unasked piece of information.” Snape managed to look even sourer.

“My pleasure. So I release you from the burden to enter and ask for yourself, don´t I?” Dumbledore chuckled lowly and retrieved a small tin box from the depth of his robes. “Sherbet Lemon?”

“No.”

“Ah, as usual.” They started to walk away from the infirmary and it took two floors downwards until they spoke again.

“So, she did it,” Snape stated matter-of-factly, looking persistently ahead.

“Yes, she did it,” Dumbledore confirmed. “Though I still wonder why you stayed so long after Voldemort crumpled into dust. You could have gone the minute it was over. However, you waited. It appeared almost as if you wanted to make sure that Rose was all right, that she regained consciousness. ” Dumbledore gazed at the other man seemingly surprised but with the smallest hint of mockery behind his words.

“I promised to help keeping her save. That´s all.”

“Ah of course, so you have not grown to care about the girl, Severus?”

Snape shot the Headmaster a nasty look and stopped abruptly.

“Care? For this impertinent brat? Who possesses the insolence to spy on me, in my most private memories as it is? And nearly get herself and her friends killed because she´s too stupid to even try to learn to close her mind? I don´t think so!”

With a furious swirl of his robes, he turned and stalked down the corridor in the direction they´d recently come from.

Dumbledore looked after him with a thoughtful expression and a smile which someone would call impish with everyone else than Dumbledore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Latin translation
> 
> sphera candens: glowing sphere  
> tegumentum maximum: maximum protection


	2. Chapter 2

<<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>>

 

>>Rose follows the lanky, awkward youth that is Severus Snape out of the castle. A bit ahead she sees James, Sirius and Remus sitting under a tree.

 

“I´m bored…” Sirius whines.

 

“Learn! Transfiguration is this noon,” Remus hints from behind his book.

 

“Don´t pay attention to such trifles. Look who´s over there!” James grins viciously and Sirius answers with a predatory grin, “Ha! Perfect! Snivellus…”

 

“Hey, Snivellus! All right?” James asks loud and walks closer.

 

Rose watches uncomfortable how her father grins. She knows such a grin only too well and it never means anything good.

 

Though Snape reacts immediately and whips out his wand, James is faster and a split second later has disarmed him. Snape splutters furiously through a mouth full of grass and dirt.

 

Rose clenches her hands into fists at her sides, watching how James and Sirius proceed in teasing Snape merciless until he curses wildly, face reddened and contorted with anger.

 

“Leave him alone!”

 

Rose spins around, a small smile creeps over her face.

 

“Oi Evans, nice to see you. Fancy a date?”

 

“Never, Potter! Not even if you´d be the last human-being on earth!” Lily spits and scrutinizes him from head to toe.

 

“Pity…for Snivellus.” James´ smile becomes sly as he gazes over to Snape.

 

“Levicorpus.” His voice is almost bored as he flicks his wand against his opponent.

 

Snape has no time to pick up his wand. He grabs for it but hangs already headlong in the air.

 

His robe slides back over his head, revealing skinny white legs and greyish underpants.

 

Rose looks around and wonders why no one wants to help. Remus still sits under the tree. He appears worried, but remains silent and disappears behind his book again as Sirius and James howl in glee.

 

Everything in Rose cringes at how horrid her father behaves. But not only that, why doesn't Remus say something? He doesn't like it either...Rose narrows her eyes at him but then returns her attention to the boys. Merlin, she wishes she could do anything to make them stop.

 

“Leave him alone, I´ve said!” Lily yells furious and stomps one foot on the ground.

 

Eventually, James flicks his wand and Snape falls to the ground. Scrambling to his feet, he splutters profanities, trying to hex James. But again James is quicker and flings Snape back up into the air, revealing once again his underwear.

 

“Damn you Potter! Stop it already!” Lily rages and draws now her own wand, aiming at Potter.

 

James sighs and releases Snape much to the dismay of Sirius who makes some very rude comments. He tries to coax James into going on but James igores him and turns to Snape.

 

“Good for you that you have Evans for your defence…” James sneers.

 

“I need no help from some filthy mudblood!” Snape spits. Rose flinches together with her mother, but then Lily´s eyes get darker. Gracefully, she lifts her head as she eyes Snape for a silent moment.

 

“Fine…Snivellus! Next time help yourself and now better go and wash your underpants!”

 

Snape flees the scene. Rose sees his ashamed face right before he… <<

 

Someone yanks her back and out of the pensive. She gets turned by her shoulders, the grip on them steely. Her gaze meets blasting furious, jet-black eyes staring down at her.

 

“Enjoying yourself, Potter?” Snape snaps furiously, this time a full-grown adult, intimidating Snape of flesh and blood.

 

“Professor…”

 

“OUT!”

 

“But, I didn´t…”

 

“LEAVE and set never again a foot in this office!” he barks, spittle flying everywhere as he hurls her around and shoves her out of the room, door slamming shut behind her.

 

Rose shifted in her sleep. Her hair stuck sweaty to her forehead which is creased in a frown. But she didn´t wake up. The scene in her dream only changed. The dark and cold dungeon corridor dissolved and changed into a library with grass instead of a floor.

 

Slowly the surrounding changes as the voices become clearer and the light dims. Rose turns startled her head, noticing movement out of the corner of her eyes. She frowns at the black figure. The face is concealed with a mask but something seems oddly familiar. Is that Snape? Why is he here? In her mind of all places…Rose loses almost her focus on the voices as she tries to get a closer look. She blinks and prepares herself to ask him why he´s here but then he is gone. Rose stares a moment longer at the shadowy place he has been, or hasn´t he? Actually she´s not sure anymore that she saw him at all. She wonders only a second longer, then she concentrates on the voices again, her connection cord back into life.

 

Sirius is the first she hears…

 

Slightly dizzy Rose opened her eyes and groaned. Marvellous, again a dream, the fifth in as many nights since she´d woken up in the infirmary. She wished she wouldn´t dream of the whole Ministry-incident. But now – oh joy – she dreamed also of the Pensive-incident. Jeez, so many incidents in her life. But regarding Snape she was sure she wouldn´t dream of him, if he granted her the chance to apologise properly. But no, this irritating man avoided her and preferred to continue to hate her. Every time she tried to speak with him he disappeared. Merlin knew how he made it. One second he was there and the next no sign of him. Most likely he knew a spell to hex the floor into swallowing him and spit him out somewhere far away from her.

 

Rose sighed, more than frustrated. Just one day before she left Hogwarts over summer. He truly had managed to “escape” her for 8 weeks. Ok, one of those weeks she was unconscious, anyway. One should think an adult man would at some point stop pouting and running away.

 

Reluctantly Rose peeled herself out of the bed. A look over to Hermione showed that her best friend was already up. Rose dressed and walked down into the common room just as Ron shuffled bleary-eyed down the steps.

 

“Good Morning!” Rose cheered.

 

“Morning…” Ron mumbled through barely parted lips and flopped into a chair.

 

“Hard night?” Rose grinned. One could think Ron was the one with the dreams. But then again it wasn´t that absurd that he dreamed too,  he was with her at the Ministry after all.

 

“Neville snores like Fluffy.”

 

Rose laughed. “Poor you!”

 

A short time later, Hermione joined them and together they went for breakfast. It was already by now a wonderful day, with a cloudless blue sky and sunshine, and they decided to spend the day outside. So they left the castle with toasts in hand and looked for a nice spot.

 

Rose and Hermione chattered and gossiped happily along while Ron fell asleep as soon as he finished his breakfast. His soft snoring increased gradually and after a while resembled rather stunningly Fluffy too.

 

The rest of the morning happened more or less nothing until a small girl approached Rose. She smiled shyly and delivered a note from Dumbledore. He wanted to speak her today. Because nothing else was planned, Rose decided to use the moment and go immediately, finding out what the Headmaster wanted.

 

“I don’t think I will be long. Except I´m lucky and find Snape on my way,” Rose said, already on her way, over her shoulder.

 

“Oh honestly, Rose. It´s getting ridiculous with your obsession. He don´t want your apology. Leave him be or he´ll give you detention. You know he doesn´t care if it´s your last day before the holidays or not,” Hermione called after her. She shook her head in exasperation as Rose only laughed and whizzed away.

 

Climbing up the guarded steps to the Headmaster´s office, Rose pondered further about Snape. The man was still so pissed off with her that he had even ignored her during lessons. How would she ever be able to apologize when he always ran away from her? Rose sighed. There she wanted at least one time to behave like everyone always demanded and then she didn´t got the chance.

 

She stopped at the wooden door that materialised before her.

 

She should definitely pay better attention or she´d run into something. Frowning, she knocked.

 

“Yes?” Rose heard the friendly voice from Dumbledore.

 

She walked in and was greeted with a blinding smile.

 

“Rose! How are you? I´m so terribly sorry to meet you only now again, but I was a bit occupied.”

 

“No, no. You don´t have to apologize, sir! I know you´re pretty busy.” Rose took the seat opposite Dumbledore´s desk, his kindly smiling face never leaving her.

 

“However, there are things to discuss. I take Sirius spoke with you?”

 

“When you hint at my departure from the Dursley´s, yes he did.” A small smile tugged on the corner of Rose´s lips. Finally she was free from her relatives.

 

“Yes that´s exactly it. Though I´m fairly sure Voldemort is gone there are still the remaining Death Eaters to worry about. As long as we don't know where they are and if they plan something, you need to stay within wards for your own safety. I know that you don´t want to hear about such things anymore, but I have to insist.”

 

“I guessed so much,” Rose said with only a slight hint of disapproval, though her smile disappeared completely.

 

“Good. I hope we can put an end to this soon.” Even Dumbledore looked tired. Heaven knew he fought this battle long enough now and he was sated.

 

“Sir?" Rose started, "Is Voldemort really gone?” Rose´s eyes shone hopefully as she peered over the desk.

 

“I think so. I spoke with Professor Snape. He told me the Dark Mark on his arm grew hot the moment Voldemort disappeared. Since then it is fading. You must know the Marks have been made with ancient blood magic that connected in a direct link with their creator. Only the death of the creator destroys the connection, though it takes some time to vanish. At least that is what I´m guessing at the moment, but being better safe than sorry I don´t want to confirm this without further investigation. What brings me back to you. How do you feel?”

 

“Still a bit shaken I guess. And I have dreams every night, but I´m sure they´ll disappear at some point.” Rose nodded confidently.

 

“Good to hear. But except from that? No scar pain? Headaches? Visions? Feeling the urge for speaking Parsel?”

 

Rose stared for a moment bewildered.

 

“No, no, none of it.”

 

“Splendid! Then maybe we all might be lucky and soon I can indeed confirm that Voldemort is this time definitely gone.”

 

“Yes. Still leaves his minions to be dealt with,” Rose muttered. She couldn´t suppress the bitterness in her voice.

 

“Time will tell, my dear. Now, go and enjoy this wonderful day.” Dumbledore winked kindly, but focused his attention to some parchments in front of him, dismissing Rose without doubt.

 

Rose left the Headmaster´s office still in thoughts as she spotted a familiar black robe the moment she rounded the Gargoyle. So it was now or never. She hurried after her Potions Professor, determined to let him not get away again and luck was with her. She turned a corner shortly before the staff room and saw him down the corridor in conversation with Professor McGonagall. With another teacher around he would most likely not try to slip away.

 

“Professor Snape? Can you spare me a minute?” Rose asked and forced herself to keep calm. She could do that. It was only an apology.

 

Snape turned surprised and peered down at the girl before him. Where the hell did she appear from? He hadn´t seen or heard her coming.

 

“For what?” he asked tersely, his gaze already darkening. McGonagall´s eyes darted towards him, her brow slightly furrowed. No way she would not ask him later about this.

 

“I want to speak with you.” Rose stepped nervous from one foot to the other but looked otherwise determined.

 

Snape pursed his lips. She was stubborn, for sure. For several weeks, she followed him now and tried to corner him. Rose was absolutely out of character ever since her outrageous behaviour in his office.

 

The week of her infirmary-stay had been downright relaxing…At least had he known where she was.

 

“Well then, Potter, go ahead. I have not all day.” She would stalk him probably at home when he let her not say whatever she had to say.

 

“It´s just that I wanted to apologise. You never gave me the chance to because you always ran away.”

 

“I´m not running away. From no one and certainly not from you, Potter!” Snape interrupted her indignantly.

 

“Yeah, ok. Maybe that´s my fault too and it was bad timing. Anyway.” Rose smiled, what was quite a foreign action when directed at Snape, but hurried on as she saw the impatient flaring of his nostrils. “I´m sorry I intruded your privacy so cruel. I didn´t mean to spy like I did and I want you to know that I don´t think their behaviour is justifiable in any kind. It was just disgustingly wrong and mean. I know how it is to be sport for such idiots and...and I think I understand part of your behaviour and what you said to me over the years better now.” Rose had put as much compassion in her words as she found within her. The result was truly amazing. Snape blinked twice in surprise his eyes hanging on her lips, as if to evaluate what he had heard before he locked his gaze with hers.

 

That had to be a dream. Potter apologised to him? All nice and sincere and even with a smile? The girl hated him. That could only mean…Oh Merlin, what was she now up to again?

 

Rose waited a moment, but it seemed not like she would get any answer from the Potions Master who still stared at her, seemingly in shock.

 

“Professors.” She smiled and nodded before she turned to leave.

 

Minerva cocked a very McGonagall-ish eyebrow at Snape. “What was the meaning of that?”

 

Snape shook his head and sighed. He really didn´t know what to make out of this. Potter apologising at all was bizarre let alone apologising to him. Never in five years had she done so, well not that he´d encouraged any behaviour in this direction. Anyway what was that about knowing to be the victim? She certainly didn't mean how he treated her. Strange. Not that it mattered. He was still mad with the girl and wouldn´t change this just because she acted once like an almost grown-up.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooo, I had a good go with editing and thought I´ll give you another chapter today :)
> 
> Always happy about opinions *wink*

<<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>>

 

“Welcome home!” Sirius smiled. He stepped aside and held the door open.

 

Rose entered the house of the family Black, looked around, managed a faint smile and shuddered.

 

“Sirius, no offence. I´m really glad that I´m free of the Dursley´s…But we need to paint these walls and the floor had better days too,” Rose said, turning to her godfather.

 

“Well Rosie-Dear, we have two months to redecorate whatever you wish to.” Sirius grinned and pushed Rose´s trunk further down the hallway.

 

“Splendid!” She grinned. “Where is my room?”

 

“There where you put your things in,” he replied casually, shrugging at the thought. “You have enough rooms to choose from, except the last floor, that´s occupied.”

 

Rose sighed, looking around as if searching for a clue. “Maybe I just have a look then.”

 

It was not that she didn´t know the house, though the last time she was here she´d simply taken the room where Ron and Hermione already had settled in. Now she looked upon the situation from a whole new point of view. She had to choose a room that would be hers for the next years to come. Hopefully.

 

Oh yes, always the optimist. Rose sneered to herself and started on the stairs. She was already halfway up to the first landing as she turned again.

 

“Sirius?”

 

Sirius looked up from setting her trunk out of the way.

 

“Yes, dear?”

 

“Thank you!”

 

“For what?” he inquired confused, narrowing his eyes.

 

“For being alive and letting me stay with you.”

 

Sirius exhaled in a sigh and then strode over to Rose, tugging her tight against his chest.

 

“Wouldn´t it been for you I were no longer here. And of course, you are staying with me! We are family!”

 

Rose looked up at him, tears shining in her eyes but she grinned nonetheless.

 

“Anyway! Thank you…”

 

Sirius kissed the top of her head and Rose took the rest of the stairs to the upper floors. She looked everywhere, taking her time to consider every room, but finally she settled with a small room on the third floor. It was not much, actually. Definitely not bigger than her room at the Dursley´s, but she imagined it quite cosy after a little make over. And it would be hers.

 

Pleased with her choice, she nodded and walked then back down to look for Sirius only to come across Remus who was on his way upstairs.

 

“Hey there!” Remus smiled kindly, his eyes lighting up.

 

“Remus!” Rose wrapped enthusiastically her arms around his neck, noticing how thin he was. Even through his clothes she could feel his ribs.

 

“How are you?” His honey-brown eyes surveyed her but with a warm twinkle. Rose smiled and linked arms with him, stirring him around.

 

“I´m fine and so glad I can stay here and don´t have to go back to the Dursley´s. You´re staying here too, right?”

 

Remus smiled at her and nodded. “Sirius said if I don´t live here too he might go barmy during school time when you´re not here. This house is simply too big to live in it all alone. But speaking of Sirius, have you seen him?”

 

“No, actually I´m looking for him myself. I just made the round to find a room for me.”

 

“And were you successful?”

 

“But of course,” Rose said with a grin.

 

Together they walked back down and finally found Sirius in the kitchen, trading insults with Kreacher.

 

“…out of here you filthy lump of shit or I cut your ugly head off and pin it on the wall next to your ancestors!” Sirius snarled.

 

Kreacher shot glares from under his bowed head. Were looks be able to kill, Sirius would drop dead to the floor. Kreacher muttered something of “traitor” and “unworthy of my Mistresses noble house” under his breath while he left.

 

Rose and Remus shared an exasperated look before turning again to Sirius who still breathed in heavy, laboured puffs.

 

“I found my room,” Rose announced cautiously. “When can we start to renovate? It´s not that urgent, you know. I only need a bed at first…”

 

“Are you kidding? We start right now! I have exactly the charm we need for that task.” Sirius grinned and it was more than obvious he would put all his bottled-up anger in this project.

 

“Lily´s refurbish-charm?” Remus asked, also beginning to grin what eased his always-there worry lines immensely and made him look a lot younger.

 

Rose looked from one man to the other and frowned.

 

“A refurbish-charm from my mom?”

 

“Oh, yes. Quite a nice little thing. You´ll see! Lily used it on your house in Godric´s Hollow. Looked more like this before she started.” Sirius spread his arms to indicate what he meant. “But as she´d finished it was not the same anymore.”

 

So the three of them took Rose´s luggage and brought it all up to her chosen room.

 

“Ok…Ehm…Let´s start with the colour of your wall. What shall it be? Pink? Violette? With or without glitter?” Sirius looked deadpan.

 

Rose stared a moment at him with curled lips, arched eyebrow and crossed her arms in front of her chest.

 

“Am I looking like a pink and fluffy princess to you?”

 

“Well…noooooo…maybe not!” Sirius ducked away and laughed as Rose punched his arm playfully.

 

After nearly two hours the room shone in new splendour. The walls were a nice melon yellow and helped to make the room look bigger than it was.

 

Off the door on the opposite wall was a small window with now poppy-red curtains held by white tassels. Under the window was a desk, not big but with enough space to sit and study. On the right side from the door stood a bed, wide enough to lay even with two persons in it, but no real double bed. Lefthand was a wardrobe and a small cupboard. All the furniture was either white or in light coloured wood and helped too to make the small room not smaller.

 

“Wow!” Rose gasped as she turned around herself and admired her room. Her room. The first one she ever had all for herself. A bright grin spread over her face and wouldn´t stop no matter how hard she tried.

 

“Wait! I have a small moving in present for you.” Sirius rushed out of sight and came back soon after, two boxes in his arms.

 

“What´s that?” Rose gazed curiously at the two boxes.

 

“Have a look,” Sirius said and stood with Remus aside as Rose opened the gifts, her eyes going wide as she peered inside. The first held a turntable and the second a record collection.

 

“It´s from your mom, only two of the few things we could safe. Lily loved music and danced with you through the house listening to some of these when you couldn´t sleep.” Sirius smiled at her and pointed at the records.

 

Rose swallowed, heavy. There were so few things that connected her with her parents and this present was unbelievable valuable to her.

 

“Thank you,” she whispered huskily and wrapped her arms around Remus and Sirius.

 

***

 

The days following Rose´s arrival at No. 12 Grimmauld Place, she and the men spent with discarding all house-elf heads and Sirius and Remus had a heavy use of this refurbish-charm, all under Rose´s meticulous supervision.

 

By the end of the second week most of the former gloomy and inhospitable house looked rather nice.

 

The walls were unexceptional bright and friendly coloured. The floors were freed from the old musty carpets and had a new glance after Rose waxed them for days, manually. The furniture was renewed and the moth-eaten, heavy curtains replaced with airy veils.

 

Rose already planned to visit some galleries to buy pictures and she had a brilliant idea for the library which she tried to share at dinner.

 

She sat with Remus and Sirius in the kitchen after she had cooked. Kreacher meanwhile let her after Rose had made some kind of peace with him. She´d moved his sleeping nest from under the sink into a small storage room and allowed him to take as many souvenirs as he wanted. So now he was rather nice to her and Rose undertook the cooking part whenever she felt the urge to do so what was quite often. But she loved it, even more as ‘her boys’ frequently broke out in ecstatic moans and expressions of praise for her meals.

 

“Last night I had an idea…” Rose said still before she had tasted her food and looked expectant over the table.

 

Sirius and Remus shared a look and put their cutlery down. Every time Rose started their conversations like this meant they had work to do and most of the time quite a lot.

 

“The library….”

 

“What is with it?” Sirius questioned but suspected nothing good.

 

“What would you think about if we join the current library with the neighbour room? We could install a small sitting area in front of the fire and we would have more space for the shelves. So we could sort the books better and had room to walk between the shelves without feeling claustrophobic.” Rose sat straight, shoulders squared and beamed over the table.

 

“And by ‘we’ you actually mean ‘us’ of course.” Sirius said and Rose´s joy faltered a bit.

 

“That's not fair…I really would help, but you know I´m not allowed to perform magic outside of Hogwarts…” she pouted.

 

“Ok, ok. It´s fine, we´ll do it. Let´s have a look tomorrow. You still want the rest of the house polished so…I´m already regretting that I told you it´s up to no problem to use this charm,” Sirius groaned and finally started eating. His grumbling giving way to humming appreciatively over today´s meal.

 

After dinner Remus stood up rather quickly. “I´m sorry to leave you but Dumbledore wants me to check again because of these attacks…”

 

“Attacks?” Rose asked interested. That was new to her.

 

“Yes, some old pureblood families with known tendencies to Voldemort. Yesterday was a big article in the Prophet, though not correct…like always.”

 

“Oh, I really have no time to read newspaper and you know what I think about the Prophet. And you obviously don´t speak about it either.” Rose frowned.

 

“If you ask me, it´s their own fault,” Sirius threw in with a dark gaze.

 

“I´m sorry, Dumbledore didn´t want us to tell as long as we don´t have a clue who´s behind this all.” Remus shrugged and was already on his way to the door as he remembered Sirius´ comment.

 

“You think it´s right that little children are tortured and raped because their dads or the mothers too were on Voldemort´s side?” Remus asked, lips curled.

 

Sirius fidgeted uncomfortable in his chair. “No…Children are not ok, but…”

 

Rose looked at him, sharply, so he quieted.

 

“I hope you get whoever is behind this and find Bellatrix and co too!” Rose said and started to tidy up the kitchen while Sirius and Remus talked for a moment in hushed voices.

 

***

 

“Will he be back to help tomorrow?” Rose asked as she and Sirius sat down in front of the fire in the living room.

 

“He tries, but can´t promise. Anyway we first need to make a plan,” Sirius said and picked up his book.

 

Rose leant her head against the backrest and closed her eyes. Her night´s rest was still not better and she dreamed every night of the Ministry. And still from Snape. It was really odd. She´d thought this dreams would cease after she´d apologised, but somehow the contrary was the matter and she dreamed less about the Ministry but more of Snape and not only about what she saw in the Pensive.

 

She racked her brain for days now why she couldn´t get him out of her thoughts. It was not like they were actually on good terms with each other. He was a bitter man with a really nasty attitude and ill temper.

 

Anyway, she expected not to see a lot of him except at meals in the Great Hall. She highly doubted that she´d gained a grade better than Exceeds Expectations in Potions, if even that at all, and Snape was known to take only Outstanding for his NEWTs classes. So, bad luck for her and for her career-plans.

 

She peered over to Sirius, feeling every time she saw him an excited tingle in her stomach. She was never before so happy outside of Hogwarts. For the first time in her life Rose had a home she was eager to come back to. Smiling contently, she closed her eyes again allowing herself to take a small nap.

 

It felt like only seconds later as a sharp knock at the front door made Rose nearly jump out of her chair. She heard Kreacher hurrying up from the kitchen and the creaking of the door as it was opened.

 

After a short moment the elf appeared next to her and announced, “Professor Snape for you, Miss Rose.”

 

“Thanks, Kreacher.”

 

Sirius and Rose exchanged one brief look of confusion before Snape entered the room, his long black travelling cloak billowing behind him. Rose swallowed.

 

Snape nodded, more a curt jerk of his head, to Sirius and addressed Rose without further greeting or preamble.

 

“The Headmaster informed me about your…desire…to become an Auror, Potter. Despite your Potions marks and my set limit of intakes for the NEWT's class of course.” Snape leant against the mantelpiece, towering over her and glaring down.

 

“Of course,” Rose muttered under her breath, although she felt a nervous fluttering in her stomach and kind of hated herself for it. What was that with this man?

 

Without further notice of her muttering Snape went on.

 

“He insists on your attendance in my class next year. So I find me, obviously, once again in the dubious pleasure to teach you in my freetime." Snape gazed at Rose. Her eyes were wide and her mouth a perfect o-shape. Yes, she was probably as overjoyed about this arrangement as he was. Trust the Headmaster to concoct such a mess. He deepened his scowl. "Means: tutoring twice a week and one extra day on weekends throughout the school year. Though, considering your Potions skills and that I expect you to be able to follow my lessons at least as much as one can expect from you, we will establish a crash course for the rest of your holiday´s. This,” he handed her a neatly folded sheet, “are your expected materials in addition to your normal school books.” He handed her likewise her Hogwarts letter. “As there are only six weeks left we will start next Monday. I´ll be here at…” he paused for a moment, thinking, and went then on, “ten. We will work at first only on the theory.”

 

Rose stared in utter disbelief at Snape, but before she could say only one single word about the subject, he nodded again more than shortly towards Sirius and left as fast as decency demands the house. A short silence expanded where Sirius tried not to laugh.

 

“Wow…Sounds like the next school year is going to be real fun again,” he snickered.

 

Rose, struggling for words, lifted one hand, pinching holes in the air with her index finger.

 

“Don´t…dare…You…just….don´t!”

 

Rose´s thoughts swirled in defenit uproar. Why was it, that she felt so….odd? Her stomach had made a sudden fluttering thing as Snape had entered, dark and intimidating as always. It was more than confusing. On the one hand there was still this feeling of disliking each other but then, on the other hand, there was this odd new feeling every time she saw him or heard someone mention him.

 

It had begun during their Occlumency lessons or better shortly after she´d seen Snape´s memories of how her father and his friends had bossed him around. He´d been more than furious that someone had seen this memory and worse that it was her, that much had been clear. But for her something had changed. She knew how it was to be the victim of bullies. Dudley hadn´t let one occasion pass to hunt her down and make her as miserable as possible. All the weeks she had tried to apologise to Snape, she had thought about his behaviour towards her. It was definitely not ok and to be true not very mature to cling on the past and make her count the cost of his humiliation. Still, she could understand it, somehow, in a small corner of her mind. So what was it she felt when it involved Snape? He hadn´t changed only she herself and her point of view.

 

Well, she´d have probably more than enough time to find out. Damn, her holidays were done…

 

Sirius stopped snickering behind his hand as he saw Rose´s tense posture and waves of trouble wandering over her face.

 

“You´re all right?” he asked her cautiously, leaning over the armrest of his chair to touch her hand.

 

Rose sighed once again, rubbing over her face.

 

“Yeah…It´s ok. It´s just…You know last year Snape tutoring me went not very well. Most of the time we insulted each other and he was really impatient as I made no progress. And now…it ruins my whole holidays.”

 

“I understand you. Jeez, I do. Despite the fact that everyone thinks we should lay our conflict aside and come to terms with each other, I still can´t stand him. And picturing me in your place…I surely wouldn’t be as calm as you are. It would be for sure end in some massacre. And I too really don´t like the idea to have him here over weeks on a regular basis…”

 

Reassuringly, he squeezed her hand.

 

Rose wished she could tell Sirius about her thoughts and these stupid feelings she recently had. But she was not sure how. Sirius loathed this man and telling him she understood why his youth-arch-enemy acted how he did and what she thought about the Marauder´s behaviour…Well, no. Better not. So she smiled a thin smile to her godfather. With some luck she could find a quiet moment with Remus. He was far more understanding in everything regarding Snape.

 

“I think I go upstairs.”

 

Sirius´ gaze darted to the clock. Half past 8. She went every day earlier to bed.

 

“Well then. Good night and sweet dreams.”

 

Rose pecked him on the cheek and disappeared.

 

Up in her room she closed the door and walked over to the small cupboard.

 

She searched through the records and settled, like most of the time, with a best of from Elvis Presley.

 

Flopping down on her bed she listened to the music and tried to stop brooding what was not the least simple. Every time her thoughts returned to Snape. As if it wasn´t difficult enough now she´d have extra lessons with him too.

 

Well, thank you ever so much, Dumbledore. Hallie huffed and turned her face into the pillow.

 

***

 

This damned, old, meddling coot! Now he even took the only time of the year where he could experiment and live like he wanted to and for what? To teach Potter! Pah!

 

“I´m sure you find it not as bad as you might think now.” Dumbledore smiled brilliantly and sipped on his tea.

 

“And what makes you think that?” Snape glared over the desk. This man was outrageous.

 

“Oh, it´s nothing but a feeling. Though, you should go now and inform Rose. She needs probably a bit time to let this information sink in.”

 

Severus gritted his teeth, of course he had to inform her himself. Stiffly he rose from his chair and stalked over to the door as Dumbledore once again raised his voice.

 

“Ah, and Severus. You have holidays too, maybe give it a try and be more relaxed, you don´t have to scowl all the time.”

 

Snape did not turn around. He feared seeing the twinkle in this damned happy face would only make him lose his temper and finally strangle Albus. He was anyway close to it most of the time.

 

About an hour later Black´s miserable house-elf led Snape upstairs into the living room. Both Black and Rose looked confused. Of course they did. As shortly as possible he said what he had to say and left as quick as possible without running. He already heard the bottle of his best Whiskey call for him. At least he had the weekend to relax…


	4. Chapter 4

<<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>> 

  


On Monday morning at exact 10 o´clock Snape entered No. 12 Grimmauld Place.

  


Rose had been a bit fidgety the whole morning and her nervousness only increased as she saw Snape´s baleful glare directed towards her.

  


“Miss Potter…Any suggestions where we will work?” Despite his glare, his tone was even and not unfriendly.

  


“Ehm…I thought either the library or the kitchen.” Rose concentrated hard on not bouncing up and down because of her tense nerves.

  


“The library then.” He walked past her and started ascending the stairs. “Second floor?” he asked back over his shoulder. Rose hurried after him.

  


“Yes, sir.”

  


They entered the room and Snape paused a moment. Rose felt quite proud. Her idea to rebuild this room was – in her mind – a brilliant one. Sirius and Remus had worked the whole weekend more than 12 hours per day. Gladly they had a bit of help everytime one of the Order had dropped by, actually only for news and some exchange with Remus. But Rose had made sure they were all occupied while chatting and no one had complained.

  


Rose had spent the most part of last night filling the bookshelves. She was still not done but a great part stood now dusted in new shelves, organized by topics.

  


“Spacious…” Snape noted. He regarded the stacks of books on the floor with a fleeting furrowing of his brow and walked over to the sitting area. Rose followed and sat down, waiting what would come, all the while crumpling the seam of her blouse between her hands.

  


Snape spared her unsettled hands a brief glance. He crossed his legs and interlaced his fingers. After a tense minute of silence in which he only gazed at Rose, he started finally speaking.

  


“For the next weeks we will see each other every day for at least two hours excluding the weekends. I expect that you work hard and don´t waste my time more than you already do. No dilly-dallying, is that understood?”

  


Rose swallowed. Every day? He was kidding, wasn´t he? That meant 5 times a week over 6 weeks with at least 2 hours per meeting she would spend about 60 hours in his company. Given her "talent" most likely more. That was far more time than she´d ever planned or wanted to spend with him. The horror must have been visible on her face because Snape sneered.

  


“Yes, Potter, you heard right.”

  


He sighed and crossed his legs in the other direction. He was as eager as she about spending so much time in the company of the other, but Dumbledore had other plans and who was Severus to talk back to the man? In this case it wasn´t even worth the trouble. Dumbledore had made this decision and nothing short of Snape´s death would´ve an impact on it.

  


“Well then…As I am familiar with your limited skills, I thought it would be the best to start all over again and build up your knowledge from the beginning.”

  


Though he had meant it, without a doubt, in a contemptuous way Rose still agreed with him. She had some major gaps in her basic knowledge with being brought up in a not magical background. So she only nodded and he went on.

  


“Thus you will begin with the different conditions and ways of preparation of potion ingredients. So, hopefully, you will finally understand where the difference between powdered and ground is.” He looked at her as if waiting for her to protest or show her usual temper. But she did not. In fact she had sworn herself to keep her temper in check, at all costs. So be it as it was Rose asked with as much politeness as she could muster, “Is there more material to look things up? And will I take notes when I am reading or later from memory?”

  


Snape narrowed his eyes and furrowed his brows. What was the girl up to?

  


“It´s best to take notes immediately, later you´ll only remember it partially, if at all. And for the additional material, haven´t I given you a list of books?”

  


“Yes, you did, but I thought there might be more, just to be sure.”

  


“No. More information would melt your little brain, Potter,” he smirked. “Now take “Potions – Brewing for absolute beginners” and start reading.”

  


She did as told and opened the book.

  


_Chapter 1: How to prepare ingredients_

  


Rose sighed inwardly and started reading.

  


Snape's gaze lingered for a few moments longer on Rose. Something was amiss. Potter complained always. But today she was downright polite and obedient. Odd…

  


Eventually, he extracted a small leather book from the depth of his cloak and started reading.

  


About an hour later, Rose cleared her throat.

  


“Professor Snape, sir?”

  


Being addressed this over polite startled him that much that he look up immediately.

  


“I´ve finished the first part.”

  


“And you took notes?”

  


“Yes, sir!” She held up a parchment, showing her unreadable scrawl.

  


“Then you can tell me undoubtedly the difference between powdered and ground now?”

  


“Yes, I guess so.” Rose looked at her notes. “Technically it is the same, but the end product is slightly different. Powdered means a finer result than ground.”

  


Well, maybe she was not as hopeless as he´d thought. But then, it was the first lesson and this was absolutely basic knowledge, something he actually expected of students before they came to the first Potions lesson.

  


“Well, that was at least correct.” He looked behind Rose at the clock, it was almost time for lunch, she´d needed more time for that beginners task than he´d anticipated.

  


“Fine, you´re done for today. Tomorrow we look into ingredient groups.”

  


Snape stood up and strode with swirling robes to the door. Though before he reached it, he turned again.

  


“Potter!” He had thought about this for a while now and had come to the conclusion that she deserved finally an answer, “I appreciate your apology. Though I must admit it came unexpected.”

  


“It was hard work.” Rose smiled. “You really tried to avoid me, didn´t you?”

  


Snape regarded her with a long calculating look. Rose was sure he wouldn´t answer and was already about to say something again as Snape nodded.

  


“I felt no need for further meddling with my private matters.”

  


“I just wanted you to know that I´m sorry. And I know it was wrong to sniff about. I realised that, if it had been my memory, I would´ve reacted the same way. Though I´m even so a bit glad I looked into the Pensive.”

  


“Glad?” Snape asked with an icy air and Rose knew she had to better watch out how she phrased her thoughts. She sighed.

  


“That came out wrong, sorry. But all the years I´ve tried to figure out why you hate me so much and now I know. Not that it feels better.” Rose shrugged and lowered her gaze to the floor, no need to let him see that it wound her to know that he was like this because her dad had been an idiot.

  


“Potter…I don´t hate you. I don´t like you overly much either, but I certainly don´t hate you. Nothing I could say about your father and his friends.”

  


Rose´s head shot up but Snape was already out of the door before she had the chance to reply.

  


***

  


Relieved that he could leave, Severus disapparated as soon as he left the library. At home he barricaded himself into his lab and started broodingly to occupy himself with some casualties. He´d been prepared to argue with the insolent brat, but quite obvious the girl was able to hold her tongue. Still…Nice and well-behaved Potter was harder to handle than what he was used to. They had even a little conversation. Merlin, he couldn´t remember anytime they had a real conversation without her throwing a petulant tantrum and him insulting her as a reaction to it. But there they were, conversing almost casual, against all odds. Possible the girl finally grew up…

  


***

  


“Ah Rose, good timing, Kreacher has just finished with,” Sirius looked down into his bowl, “well I don´t know what this is.”

  


Rose chuckled and accepted a bowl herself looking into it and shot Sirius a pointed look. “What about vegetable stew?” She tasted it and started to devour her share with relish. “Try it. It´s really good.”

  


Kreacher stood still aside and inclined his head towards Rose at her praise. “Miss Rose is very nice to Kreacher,” he said and gave Sirius an ugly look.

  


“Yeah, ok. I try it.” Though he didn´t want to admit it in front of the bloody beast Rose was right. The stew was quite good. So to show no weakness he circumvented the topic and asked instead as casually as possible, “How was your lesson?”

  


“Hm, I think it was good. We both survived, so only 29 days to go.” Rose smirked but then looked quickly into her meal. Actually she thought it went pretty well. They even had a proper conversation at the end. Her stomach made this strange fluttering thing again, that was more unsettling than the prospect of seeing Snape every day.

  


“Wow and that already at the beginning. Watch out, at the end of the holidays you are best buddies,” Sirius teased her but he ducked away as Rose aimed her spoon at him.

  


***

  


“Rose?” Remus poked his head into the library. “Wow…Sirius said you´d tidy up, but it looks like a hurricane whirled through.” His gaze roamed over the library floor. Loads of books lay open or were provided with coloured paper strips. In the middle of the mess sat Rose, bent over a book, parchment next to her where she scribbled something down.

  


“Oh hey, er, yeah…I had it all cleaned up, but then I came across the pile of potions books and texts about healing charms and now I´ve found this.” Grinning, she held an yellowish book up that had definitely seen better days, somewhere in the past, far in the past.

  


Remus crouched down next to Rose and looked down at the book in her lap.

  


“Experimental healing potions,” he mumbled and looked up to Rose, frowning slightly.

  


“I think I know what I want to do after school.” Rose beamed.

  


“Blowing everyone up?” Remus chuckled and Rose cuffed him lightly on the upper arm but her smile faded a little.

  


“No, seriously. I think I´m done with dark wizards and their minions. I want to help people. And I want find a better treatment for people like you.” The last part was only whispered and Rose gazed unsure at Remus, the last thing she wanted was to offend the man.

  


Remus peered curious at her before his gaze darkened. He said nothing further to this topic but stood up. “Sirius said dinner is ready.” Oddly stiff he left the room and a confused Rose behind.

  


***

  
“Potter! Stop staring holes in the air,” Snape snapped. He was not overly impressed by Rose´s performance today. Throughout the whole week he´d been surprised how eager she learned. Even without telling her, she prepared herself for the next lesson and read further texts, voluntarily. The whole library was littered with potions books and texts and parchments full of her notes. Something had seemingly triggered the girl´s interest for potions and it worked rather miraculously on Rose. For the last couple of years Snape had been not sure if she memorised just one thing he´d tried to teach her, but the last days had proofed she could learn, when she was willing.

  


But however, today she was seemingly not willing or at least occupied with other thoughts.

  


Snape shifted in his chair and eyed Rose with beginning irritation. That was a more familiar territory.

  


Rose looked down on her hands. “I´m sorry, sir!” Damn, she really should stop thinking, well not thinking in general but of Snape. With him in her head was no room for potions stuff and she didn´t want to make him angry. But funnily the more time she spent in his company the more she thought about him, even if he was only one arm length away.

  


Snape sighed and cursed Dumbledore ten fold for this mess. But he knew from years of experience with Rose that when he pushed too far she would only snap at him and soon they were back at insulting each other. During school term he didn´t care about such sentiments, but now he had holidays too and was not especially keen of fighting, so he asked unfamiliar calm, “What distracts you? Can we get rid of it?”

  


“Eh…” She couldn´t tell him that it was his presence, his closeness to her that made her lose her concentration, so what else? She stared at him as something came to her mind.

  


“I found this book…And I thought about my future.”

  


Snape raised an eyebrow, indicating with an impatient flick of his hand to go on.

  


“The book is about experimental healing potions. And I started to think that I want to help people. I don´t want to be an Auror.” Rose saw how Snape narrowed his eyes and hurried to add, “But I want to be a Healer or something like that and there are potions even more important than for an Auror.”

  


“A Healer?” Severus gave her a scrutinising look. That was definitely the last career he´d seen her choosing. On the other hand, it´d be more shocking if she´d be suddenly interested in a Potions Mastery.

  


“Actually I´m interested in research.”

  


Research…Snape snorted and smirked as Rose curled her lips.

  


“Yes, I know what you think. But I´m not lazy, at least not when I´m interested in something. It´s just that most of the time I do not more than absolutely necessary and yes, granted, mostly it´s Hermione who does the research but…” She paused and picked up the book in question. “Look. I see how Remus struggles every month with his transformation and there are more like him and here are those notes about something else than Wolfsbane Potion and I thought…”

  


“Of course. Saint Potter tries to rescue poor, lost werewolf´s…Let me tell you, I invested a lot of time to improve or at least alter the Wolfsbane potion, in vain. And I have more than twenty years of expertise on my side.” Snape´s voice grew colder with every word and the sneer on his face didn´t help Rose to stay calm.

  


“I´m not Saint Potter!” she pressed out through gritted teeth and glared over the parchent littered coffee table.

  


“You are and you have a damn big ego, bigger than is due to you.”

  


“Why are you always like this? I only answered your question, but you trample on my feelings and insult me. Again.” Breathing heavily, Rose couldn´t bear to be in his proximity any longer. She jumped up and stormed out of the room. Damn idiot! She slammed the door to her room shut and caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror. “Silly cow! Stop crying!” she hissed to her image. But now that the flood gates were open she couldn´t stop anymore. Never before had she wept because Snape was his usual self. But admittedly, never before had she hoped he would be nicer to her and never before had she been so confused because of him.

  


Merlin what the hell was wrong with her?

  


Rose buried her face in her pillow. She really shouldn´t feel so hurt, actually she should´ve expected him to be mean and mocking. So why **did** it hurt so much that he was just himself?

  


Heavens what must he think of her? She only gave him more reason to mock her. Running away, crying…Yeah, Rose, you´ve done a great job here. Surely he will respect you after that.

  


Snorting Rose sat up and rubbed over her damp cheeks.

  


Ruefully she returned to the library just to find it empty. On the table lay a piece of parchment with her homework for the weekend and an addendum that Snape had borrowed the book she had shown him. With a sigh Rose went down to the kitchen and made a cup of tea. Back in her room she leant at the headboard of her bed and read in her potions book, starting her homework.

  
***

  
_Snape paced up and down in front of the fireplace. He always wore his long black robes, even in the heat of July. But now Rose felt almost mesmerised to watch it billow and swish back and forth with every step Snape did. His hands were clasped behind his back and every now and then he looked over to her._

  


_“Miss Potter, do you pay any attention to what I´m telling you?” His deep, smooth voice interrupted her musings about his robes. She let her gaze travel upwards until it met his eyes. And what eyes they were, so deep and dark. It was as if he could see right into her. And he spoke again. She saw how his lips moved but she couldn´t understand one word, the only thing she noticed was the low rumble and how it sent shivers down her spine._

  


_All at once he was so close she felt his breath on her face. When had he walked over? She tried to look him in the eyes without squinting but it was difficult because he came even closer. Her heart stopped. She couldn´t breathe. Her eyes fell shut as his breath ghosted over her parted lips…_

  


“Rose? Are you coming?” Sirius leant in the open door, looking with a soft smile over to her.

  


“What?” Rose blinked a few times and tried to calm down her wild beating heart.

  


“Kreacher made dinner.”

  


“Dinner?”

  


“Blimey! It´s almost seven. Come on hurry.” Sirius chuckled while he left and Rose heard him thumping downstairs.

  


Heavens, her dream…Why did she dream such things?

  


Her stomach fluttered in this strange way it did more often recently. Oh no. Was it that? Rose chewed on her bottom lip. Had she seriously developed a crush on Severus Snape? The most hated man in school and until now in her life?

  


Rose looked out of the window, reminiscing the last weeks…

  


Oh blimey, she was damned. But if she was honest with herself it made perfectly sense. Particularly why she was everyday excited to see him. Why she couldn´t think straight in his proximity. Why she dreamed about him.

  


Rose groaned. Wonderful, the first time she had feelings for someone and then it was someone like Snape.

  


***

  


The whole weekend Rose had brooded even more than usual. She was now sure she had feelings for Snape. Not that knowing it made it better in any kind. Actually she feared even more to see him again. What if he found out?

  


She paced through the library and waited for him. Her hands fiddled steadily on a strand of her hair, twisting it around one finger, rolling and rubbing it. Without fail Snape would have some blunt words for her latest behaviour. With her luck he´d be even meaner than usual.

  


Rose was just on her way from the back of the room to the sitting area as Snape finally swept in the room. Rose stopped mid-stride and cringed inwardly, expecting the lash out. To her surprise he walked over and held two books under her nose. Confused she looked up.

  


“These cover newer results of experimental potions and medical issues. If you´re really interested in the matter and understand those I can lend you more books.” He turned around and approached his usual chair. “I hope you allow me to keep your book for a while longer?” he asked conversationally as he looked back to where Rose still stood like a statue.

  


Startled Rose gawped at Snape and blinked owlish as he did something unexpected. It took Rose a moment before she was able to identify the sound he made.

  


But Snape chuckled. A warm feeling spread in Rose and her heart beat a tad faster.

  


“Miss Potter, staring is not particularly polite,” Snape said finally in his usual seriousness.

  


"Oh damnation cut the Miss shite!” Rose snapped and immediately conciliated, “Please? Only Potter sounds at least not that formal. We're not in school. So I would appreciate if you were finally able to call me by my given name. I have holidays!" Both stunned due to Rose´s sudden outbreak they blinked for a moment at each other, Rose with trepidation if she went too far.

  


“Yes.” Snape sat down in his chair and peered calculating at Rose. “I think it won´t do any harm if I´d call you by your first name. But only until school starts again. And now let´s start, or saving the werewolf´s fails because of your limited potions skills.” He smirked and took her notes.

  


Rose could hardly believe her luck. Not only had Snape not mentioned last week, he also overlooked her little rant the moment before and he encouraged her to follow her new career plans. Oh Merlin and he had laughed. Her heart made a double somersault in her chest.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Weekend! More time for reading :D  
> Here you go...

<<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>>

“Happy Birthday, love!”

Sirius rushed over to haul her up in an almost suffocating hug. Rose smiled at him after he´d finally released her.

“Thank you! And ooooh...” Her gaze wandered over the table. In the middle sat a small, neatly wrapped up present and next to it stood a cake. The cake was a bit lopsided so that every other candle spilled it´s wax on the glazing.

“I made it. Of course it´s not as good as if it would be your work but…” Rose prevented Sirius from finishing his sentence as she flung her arms around his neck and kissed his cheek.

“No, it´s wonderful!” She sobbed with tears in her eyes. Slightly worried Sirius stepped a bit away eying her suspiciously.

“You´re all right?”

“Yes, I´m just happy.” Rose sniffed and grinned.

“Sirius! What are you doing to our birthday girl?” Remus chided from behind them. Rose turned and got again swept up in a hug. Remus, however, was much gentler with his embrace and kissed her forehead while whispering his congratulations.

Rose, all emotional, gave them a bright but still teary smile.

“I love you both so much, you know that?”

“Oh darling!” Remus pulled her once again in his arms, stroking softly over her back. “We love you too!”

“Quite right,” Sirius said and hugged Rose again too. “But now stop crying. Your cake´s waiting.”

“And her lesson,” came a familiar sneer from the open kitchen door. “Maybe we should´ve delayed our appointment for today?” Snape asked with a quizzical lifted eyebrow. Rose whirled around and smoothed her shirt down, feeling a little flustered.

“No, no, I´m fine. I want to go on,” Rose ensured and noticed that it was the truth. She ignored the disbelieving gasp from her godfather and asked, “Could I taste the cake first?” She smiled shyly and peered with hopeful widened eyes over to Snape.

Looking around shortly Snape shrugged. “I´ll wait upstairs.” He was halfway out of the kitchen as he looked over his shoulder again. “Happy Birthday, Rose.”

 

Against better judgement a small happy bubble popped into life in Rose´s stomach. She looked at Remus and Sirius and grinned. “Cake?”

“You know that was odd, yes?” Sirius asked while he cut the cake.

“Why? It’s better between us. We´re not like your predicted best buddies, but we endure our meetings without insulting and snapping at each other.”

“It’s all Dumbledore’s fault! What did the old fool think to…”

“Sirius, it´s fine. Really. Don´t look for a problem where none is.” Rose interrupted Sirius´ growling and squeezed his shoulder.

“Yeah. If you say so…Anyway, don´t make too long today. Your guests will be here sooner than later. You know the Weasley´s. Besides you spend already more than enough time around the greasy git and your potions books.”

“Of course.” There was nothing more to say without picking a quarrel.

Remus watched them carefully and smiled as Rose didn´t defer to Sirius’ attempts for an argument.

In no time at all Rose wolfed down two not too small pieces of Sirius´ cake. She hugged him again and made then her way up to the library.

***

Absolute unlike for Snape he granted Rose her birthday cake and the extra time with her dogfather´s. He leant relaxed back in his chair and waited for Rose to join him while he flipped through a random book he´d picked from one of the shelves.

His thoughts drifted to Albus Dumbledore. Severus had no idea why the man had been so adamant about teaching Rose Potter. But, even though grudgingly, Severus had to admit that the old man was right, again. The lessons weren´t overly unpleasant, in fact Severus almost enjoyed his time with Rose. She showed by far more enthusiasm for potions in their current setting than she´d ever done over the last years in his class. Maybe it had been indeed about the basics. Severus knew well enough that some minor errors become bigger over the time when you don´t get rid of them and now after solving this problem she had no problems with the theory. Though it remained the question if she was able to convert her knowledge into actual brewing. Hopefully he found a way to help her seeing that brewing wasn´t difficult at all. Maybe he even could improve her technique enough that she´d be successful next school year.

Snape blinked twice and couldn´t help but snort about his thoughts. He wanted to help the brat and Merlin help him he liked his time with Rose, definitely. How far had the world come…

“I brought you some cake, Professor” Rose appeared in the room and interrupted unintentional his musings.

“No need, but thank you nonetheless. Shall we start?” Snape stood up and positioned himself in front of the fireplace, shooing the last bits of his former thoughts away.

Rose put the plate on the small table and sat in her usual chair, looking expectantly up to him.

As Snape was certain that Rose was ready he started his lecture about dragon blood. He paced up and down with his hands crossed behind his back, his voice all the time even as he spoke. Every now and then he glanced at Rose, pleased that she listened to every of his words and made small notes for her memory.

At the end of their lesson Snape nodded shortly and wished her a nice day with her guests before he left, rather hurriedly, the slice of cake still sitting on its plate, untouched.

***

“Rose!” Molly Weasley, her self-declared foster mom, exclaimed the second she stepped out of the fireplace, pulling Rose into a tight embrace. “Happy birthday, love!” Rose grinned and returned the embrace.

Behind Mrs Weaseley stood Ron and shuffled nervous with his feet.

“Happy Birthday, Rose,” he said almost sheepishly and grinned.

“Thank you. Where´s the rest?” Rose asked looking at the now again orange flames.

“Oh dear, they are all at work. And Ginny is with Luna. But they´ll all be here for dinner. Except for Hermione, as I hear.” Mrs Weasley squeezed Rose´s hand.

“Oh?” Rose felt a sudden rush of disappointment.

“Don´t mind, she sent me this for you. She´s in some kind of study thing and is too busy to leave the house. Don´t ask what exactly it is she´s doing. Knowing Hermione she rewrites _Hogwarts: A History_.”

Rose chuckled and took the package from Ron. She turned to the table and slapped her forehead.

“Presents…” With an apologetic look she gazed at Sirius and Remus. “I haven´t opened your present."

“No, you were so busy to follow Snape that you obviously forgot about it,” Sirius said with a pout. Rose was not sure if he mocked her or if he really was a bit fretted. Behind his back Remus shook his head in a ‘don´t mind’ manner and nodded encouragingly towards the present.

“Snape?” Ron blurted and stepped at Rose´s side eying her suspiciously.

“Yeah, I tell you later.”

She took the small box from the table. It was rather light. She opened it and gasped. In it lay a silver necklace with a small vial which held three gemstones.

“It´s beautiful,” she whispered in awe what obviously mollyfied Sirius, who stepped behind her and closed the collar around her neck.

“These are the birthstones from you and your parents. Aquamarine for James, Garnet for Lily and Ruby for you.”

“Aquamarine for Remus too, just yours is missing...” Rose smiled a bit sadly as she continued, “Then I´d have you all with me, everywhere and every time right above my heart.” She could see Sirius swallow and embraced him.

“You mustn´t miss,” Rose said somewhere at his chest.

“Ok, first thing tomorrow, I´ll look for my birthstone and buy one,” Sirius said somewhat hoarsely and with suspiciously shining eyes.

Rose nodded and tightened her arms around Sirius´ waist.

“Ok now, enough with all this emotional fuss…I thought today were a happy day!” Ron piped up, feeling uncomfortable with all those emotions. Rose sniffed but grinned and let go of her godfather.

“Ok, let´s have a look for the rest of my presents.”

At first she unwrapped Hermione´s gift. On top she found a small note with Hermione´s apologies and beneath that was a shawl. It was light and flowing and in different green tints. Draping it over her bare shoulders it felt cool and a bit like water flowing down her arms. She was instantly in love with it.

“Oh, how beautiful. It goes well with your eyes,” Mrs Weasley cooed from over the table and smiled.

Rose smiled too and opened the present Ron had given her.

Ron watched her and held his breath as Rose peered inside the small box.

“Damn, is that a wink from all of you to wear more jewellery?” She smirked around the room and took the snitch-bracelet out of the box, fastening it on her wrist.

“You like it?” Ron asked. Rose hugged him tightly.

“It´s perfect!” She pecked him on the cheek and watched as he turned crimson, right up to his ears.

To cover his embarrassment he asked, “So what´s that with Snape?”

“Yeah.” Rose sighed. “He gives me extra lessons in Potions.”

“What? Now? Why? Why him?” Ron spluttered, flopping on the chair next to Rose.

"Dumbledore asked him to teach me, because my Potions marks are not good enough for Snape´s NEWTs class and without Potions no Auror-career.” She'd quickly decided to tell Ron not yet about the changes in her career plans.

“And why the hell do you have to learn in your holidays?”

“Well, you know how **good** ,” she made quotation signs in the air, “I am in Potions. And it´s actually not as bad as it sounds.”

“Not as bad as…? What happened with you? You´re sure he hasn´t hexed you?”

“Oh Ron, I´m fine. It´s just that I finally understand so many things I haven´t understood before. It all makes a lot more sense now.”

“I don´t need to understand **you** , do I?”

“It´s ok. Sometimes **I** don´t understand it either. Enough understanding for now?” Rose grinned.

“I guess…What do we do now?” Ron jumped up and looked around.

“I have an idea. Follow me discretely.” Rose smiled and led her friend out of the kitchen. She guided Ron with a lot of “wow´s” and “blimey´s” up into her room.

“This place looks…great,” he said finally. “I can´t believe it´s the same house as last year.”

“It was a lot of work, well not for me,” she snickered and leant back against the headrest of her bed. Ron sunk down next to her.

During the whole afternoon they talked about their holidays so far. Ron still couldn´t believe that Rose was all right with the Potions-extra-lesson-arrangement but he stopped returning to it after Rose had threatened to suggest he could join in. As it was finally time for dinner they strolled back down into the kitchen. Rose stopped right in the door and looked with big eyes around the room which was illuminated with flowing candles. The scent of delicious food wafted over to her and the dearest people to her were there. Most of them at least.

One after the other Ginny, Bill, Fleur and Mr Weasley hugged and congratulated her.

“Where are the twins?” Rose asked after Mrs Weasley had shooed everyone to sit down for dinner.

“I think they´re busy. Maybe they come later. But I haven´t seen them in weeks myself so…” Mrs Weasley´s gaze grew sad as she thought about her twin sons but the smile returned quickly and she continued to pile food onto the table.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did I say more time for reading?  
> Well, here a second chapter, but only a short one ;)

<<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>> 

Time progressed faster than Rose had expected it would, given the fact that she spent most of her time with Snape or reading potions books. Who would´ve thought she would voluntarily read anything potion related, ever? But she did and was a bit surprised by herself to find it actually rather interesting. But not only her point of view on Potions changed. Her relationship with Snape did as well.

Rose had begun to ask further questions after their actual lessons. Most of the time they were about what she was reading about medical potions and everything Werewolf related. And now after three weeks it was more rule than exception that Snape stayed and they talked, sometimes far beyond thier actual study time. Rose watched everytime fascinated when Snape started to speak about potions and experiments. His face became a certain soft expression and his eyes lit up the more he talked. It made Rose happy to see him so open and even more that he stayed willingly and shared his thoughts with her. The only negative was that it definitely didn´t help her infatuation with the man, more the opposite. The more time Rose spent with him, the worse it got. Even more as she learned that one could have really nice conversations with the man apart from potions. Not that they had deeply personal talks, but Rose learned nonetheless that Snape was an early riser (who had thought that…) and loved walks not too long after dawn, when the world was still asleep and dew dampened the grass and plants. After he had told her that, she couldn´t help but wish to walk with him on such a morning, close at his side and in companionable silence. And indeed ever since Rose woke around dawn and thought about Snape.

Besides their talks after lessons, Rose noticed that Snape seemed generally more relaxed around her. Not only that he was absolutely not as he usually was in school, though he still threw the one or another mean skit at her, but for Rose the greater sign was that he undressed. For once he stopped wearing his trademark robes. The first time he walked in without the billowing garment Rose had almost whistled and managed only in the last second to turn it into coughing. But then Snape also shrugged out of his jacket and Rose had gulped. Since then she had more than a hard time to stop staring.

Just like right now. Rose was so deep in thoughts that it took her several minutes to notice that Snape gazed intently at her. As she finally noticed, she blushed and lowered her gaze.

"Rose, you make me wonder. For 5 long years I thought you were a lazy, inept and arrogant dunderhead and that this were the reasons you couldn't for your dear life brew a proper potion." He sighed and shook his head. Rose remained silent unsure what his point was, exactly.

"But now, after only three weeks, we covered most of the theoretical basics and even some sophisticated topics of your recent education in Potions. And you understand it. You proof it every day. You learn self-initiated, you ask questions, good questions. Alone from your insight into the topic I´m sure you could make some decent potions. But you never did in the last years. Instead you messed everything up and spiced it with disrespectful behaviour.” Snape gazed over the space parting them and Rose chewed her bottom lip, still unable to reply anything. “I want to understand what happens in your head. Where´s your problem when it´s not the theory? I am here to make sure you become able to brew but quite obviously it's not the lack of understanding the matter."

Rose scratched unconsciously over her left arm, frowning.

"I don't know. Really. I mean I had definitely some major gaps and I feel quite stupid when I see what I haven´t known. But we filled the gaps by now what makes other things a lot easier to understand. Maybe you need to actually see me brewing to find out where my problem is...?"

"I understand you like cooking?" Snape raised questioningly his eyebrows as he changed seemingly the topic. A little smirk tugged on his mouth as Rose inclined her head confused.

"Yes, why?"

"Brewing is not entirely unlike cooking. You have a recipe that you follow and usually the result is adequate. With the right instinct it can be even excellent."

Rose watched amused how Snape punctuated his sentences with little gestures and wondered why he was in class never lively like this, but instead wrapped himself most of the time tightly in his cloak and prowled scowling through the room.

"Well, I never cook after recipes. Sometimes I take one to inspire me but cooking is always improvisation for me and in difference to my potions, my meals turn out quite good." Maybe cooking and brewing were not as similar as he thought.

"Improvisation.” Snape tapped one finger at his chin. “You know, improvisation isn´t impossible when you brew but to gain the result you want you have to follow the key points. That means you have to identify those. Which again means you have to know exactly what you´re doing and where you can alter the recipe.”

"But I never tried to alter the recipe in your class. I had always enough trouble without starting to experiment." Rose chuckled lowly.

"So you do always **exactly** what the recipe calls for?" He raised a sceptic eyebrow. Rose stopped chuckling and pursed her lips.

"I thought so."

Snape blew out a sigh. "We will see. I will consider the options for how and where to let you brew."

He rose out of his chair aiming to leave.

"Professor?" Rose crossed the space between them, standing now in front of him, maybe a tiny bit too close, though if he noticed he said nothing and also didn´t move away.

"Potter?"

“Rose, you remember?” Rose bit her bottom lip and looked up. God, if she could only touch him…

“Rose, what is it?” A bit of his habitual impatience returned and he peered down at the current reason for it.

"Thank you!"

"For what?" Snape furrowed his brow, a little startled.

"For teaching me and your patience and the time you stay after our lessons. We never got along like this. It's kind of nice and I really enjoy our conversations." Rose blushed, knotting unconsciously her hands in the seam of her shirt.

"Your temper lately is much more endurable than usual."

"You think so?" It was not a compliment in the original sense of the idea, but still it made Rose happy.

"Obviously." Snape narrowed his eyes before his face softened into one of his rare, true smiles. “I like our conversations too. Who had thought that a Potter is actually able to have decent thoughts about serious topics?” His smile changed into a smirk but his eyes glittered still friendly amused.

"Yes, who had thought..." Rose nodded and gave him a tiny smile. Her heart jumped happily.

"Keep it up, then. I'll see you next week." He turned on his heel and disapparated right from the spot.

Rose swayed for a moment and tried to calm her racing heart. Fighting with Snape had been in a strange way satisfying over the years. But being on good terms with the man seemed worth the effort to control her temper.

“Rose?” Sirius called from downstairs.

“Second!” She breathed in and hoped she didn´t still had a blush before she walked down to her godfather.

“Here, came a minute ago.” A letter fluttered through the entrance hall to her.

_Rose! How are you? I´m in London the next days, fancy a girls date?_

_Love, Hermione_

Rose smiled and replied immediately.

“Hermione comes over,” she said to Sirius while walking down into the kitchen and to start with something for lunch.


	7. Chapter 7

<<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>> 

Rose was rinsing the dishes as Hermione buzzed into the kitchen.

“Rose!”

“Mione!”

The girls embraced each other and smiled as if they hadn´t seen each other for years.

“How are you? I´m so sorry I couldn´t make it to your birthday!” Hermione said finally, lowering her head to avoid Rose´s eyes.

“I´m sorry, too. I missed you. But except that I have a lot to do and so but…yeah…It´s great to not live with the Dursley´s anymore. What is that study thing Ron blabbed about and why are you in London?”

“Oh, uhm…yeah,” Hermione stuttered and blushed furiously.

“My room? I guess we need to talk.”

Together the girls made their way up to Rose´s room. Hermione´s eyes got bigger with every step they took.

“Wow…the house…It´s great. You have done this in four weeks?”

“Well, Sirius and Remus did.” Rose laughed, “They know a charm my mom used. Sirius regretted quite early he ever mentioned it. He meant I´ve been worse than a slave driver.” Rose chuckled. “But I´m really proud of my slaves. You want a quick look into the library?”

“Hey, it´s me! Of course I want!” Hermione´s eyes got even bigger at the now spacious and bright room. “Oh wow that´s soooo different…you think, maybe we could stay here?” she asked and glanced over to the armchairs.

“If you don´t mind when Sirius eavesdrops us.”

“Ok, persuaded…”

She followed Rose out of the room, but not without a last longing glance back over her shoulder, and the next staircase into Rose's small realm.

“It´s really, really awesome what you made of this creepy dark house…or made others make.” Hermione grinned and looked again around Rose´s room.

“So how come you´re here? I mean, no blame, I´m happy to see you…finally.” Rose said after the girls sprawled stretched out on the bed.

“I´m so sorry! Really! I feel so bad about it…But there´s something, you know, can you keep it to yourself ?” Hermione asked, hesitating.

“Hermione! You know me! Whatever it is you can trust me.”

“You're right. Ok, it's a bit....confusing and...aaaaaahrg!” With a bang Fred and George appeared only centimetres next to them and made them jump.

“Rude! You silly idiots!” Rose exclaimed, but not without affection in her voice.

“Good to see you, too dear Rose! And belated best wishes!” George grinned.

“Yes! Downright marvellous to see you! Sorry we couldn´t make it to your birthday.” Fred added.

“Ah, and Hermione! Phenomenal that you´re here.” A face-splitting smile appeared on Georges face, despite the fact that Hermione looked like strangling him.

“Exactly what I thought my dearest twin,” Fred piped up and inched a bit away from Hermione as she shot the same nasty look at him.

“Have you sniffed too much of your experiment fumes?” Rose looked suspicious at the twins.

“No, no we´re just so glad to see our dearest girls,” Fred answered a brilliant smile right in place.

“Ginny is not dear to you?” Rose raised one eyebrow.

“Rose! Rose, Rose…Ginny is our sister but you and Hermione are much more…” For some reason Hermione shook her head and made Fred stop.

“You know how mad people are? We´ve not opened yet and are practically sold out,” George changed the topic but not exactly as elegant as usual.

“So you already sell your things?” Rose asked. With the twins it was often better to just play along and at some point they came out with whatever it was that bothered them. And there was something, for sure.

“Of course. But only mail order. We plan to officially open next week. Come along when you´re in Diagon.” Fred grinned and inched closer. Rose gave him a sideways glance and turned to George.

“How´s the rest of your family?” Hermione asked, rather obvious trying to sound lightly. Rose frowned and kept watching the strange exchange in front of her.

“Oh, I think their at home. Mom's surely fussing about everyone. Think we ought to pop up too, sometime."

“So you came straight from Diagon Alley?” Hermione asked and it appeared even more staged than before.

“Yes, yes…Have a flat above the shop. Quite cosy and far easier as to apparate every day.” George answered and gave Hermione an odd gaze.

Somehow Rose couldn´t get rid of the feeling that here something was greatly strange. Also because Fred still inched closer to her.

“What´s wrong with you three?” She glanced from one to the other.

“Nothing!” Hermione all but shouted and blushed in a deep red.

“And besides nothing?” None of them looked at Rose but they exchanged looks between each other. Hermione was apparently nervous, as she tugged at one nail, chewing at the same time on her bottom lip.

“Well, I think we should go now and see what the family does on this wonderful day…See you later,” Fred sputtered and with two bangs he and George were gone.

Rose raised her eyebrows.

“And you tell me it´s nothing. I´ve never seen you or the twins like this. I mean they are always a little strange. But so much?”

Hermione exhaled and dropped back onto the mattress, her gaze fixed onto the ceiling.

“That´s what I´d planned to tell you before the boys came around.”

“Yes?” Rose asked.

“Uh…I…eh…I have sort of a…well…a relationship with George…”

“But that´s great!”

“…and Fred,” Hermione finished.

“Wait! Both?” Rose´s mouth fell open and then she burst out into laughter.

Hermione pouted, sulking silently for a while.

“What´s so funny about that?”

“Oh just your face and rethinking this whole situation it makes a lot more sense.”

Rose stopped giggling and wiped away some tears.

“No, seriously. I think it´s great. I´d never expected you like the twins, though.”

“Yeah, I know. They´re great but it´s complicated.”

"No shit.”

“It was before the twins left Hogwarts. They´d planned their departure long beforehand and I happened to overhear some of their ideas. First they tried to threaten me, not to tell anyone about. But then, I don´t know why, we sat together and they explained the whole plan to me, asking for my opinion. I mean, me of all people! We talked a lot. About serious things, too. They are not always silly and like big toddlers. One day Fred told me that he likes you and asked if I had an idea how to coax you into a date.” Hermione grinned. “I told him that I had no idea and sometime later he vanished, mumbling something under his breath. Yeah and so I was alone with George and it was really nice. We talked and George said that I´m really pretty without constantly a book in my face and the next moment he kissed me.”

Rose giggled again and mused, “Fred never asked me out on a date.”

“Yeah, well it was all shortly before they left. And then after this whole Ministry thing he hasn´t seen you.”

“He could have dropped by in the last weeks. But he didn´t and now he´s with you. Not that I want to complain but how did that happen?”

“Uhm. I came to Diagon two weeks ago to sort things out with George. I stayed at the Cauldron and visited them in their shop, helped a bit. After a few days they nearly forced me to stay with them in their flat. And yeah, I did. George and I had by this time decided to give it a serious try.”

“You were here all the time? But you came not to my birthday…” Again Rose felt disappointed.

“It´s not like that. We worked a lot in the shop and the day before your birthday I opened a box and something punched me right in the face. George applied immediately some special bruise salve, but until this morning I had this imprint of a horseshoe across my face. We don´t want the rest of the Weasley´s know. Not yet. And it was obvious that it´s something of the twin´s inventions and…Oh Rose, I´m so sorry…” Hermione rumbled along but dared not to look at her friend.

“Yeah. Well, it´s ok. It´s a pity you were not there and the twins too, but I understand. Just go on.”

“Really? I mean I understand when you´re angry.”

“I´m not but I´d have liked to see your bruise!” Rose grinned and boxed Hermione lightly on the arm. Hermione giggled.

“No, you wouldn´t. It was nasty.”

They went silent for a moment before Rose looked up.

“What I don´t understand is, how did you end up with Fred when he was interested in me.” Not that it really bothered Rose, but was it so simple to stop having feelings for her and fall in love with someone else?

“No, it´s not like this. It´s complicated. I mean he´s still interested in you. But with me in their flat and them never more than a minimum apart…It just happened. But it´s different. George and I are in love and Fred that is something still in progress.”

“So you are in love, so really truly with butterflies?” Rose grinned and fought back her thoughts about a certain man. Every time her butterflies dared to rise she felt only nauseous and helpless.

“Yeah.” Hermione gave her a shy look, than her expression changed into a grin. “Twins are really hard to be with. Last week, I kind of mistook Fred for George. I mean, I only realised it as Fred kissed me back and it felt different. I opened my eyes and saw that it was not George. But George stood in the doorway, grinning like it were Christmas and his birthday together.”

“So you can seriously tell them apart?”

“Yeah…you know it´s not that difficult when you know how. The pattern of their freckles differs slightly...” Hermione mumbled.

“That´s so nerdy, Mione!” Rose laughed. Then she hugged her best friend dearly. “I am so happy for you.”

“Thanks. But there is something else. It´s because of Fred. But it´s...It might be a bit…"

Rose raised one brow. The twins were some of the worst mischievous guys she ever met. And Hermione stuttering along like that promised nothing good.

"What is it?"

"Yeah...It's so that they, uhm." Hermione sat up and pulled her knees up, wrapping her arms around them and worried her bottom lip between her teeth.

"Just tell me." Rose reached over and laid one of her hands on Hermione´s arm.

"Fred still wants a try with you if he could get one and George thinks it´s great because we could have something of a relationship with all four of us.” If possible Hermione blushed even deeper than Ron on his best day and Rose felt the same, her face heating up and she was sure it was beetroot red.

“Oh. That…well…I think…not that I... See, there is something I need to tell you and…”

“Oh Rose, that hurts!” exclaimed Fred, bursting with George into the room, extendable ears still in hands. Rose blanched and was unbelievable relieved that she had had no time to end her sentence.

“Boys! Spying is absolutely not ok!” Hermione snapped and glared.

"So why don´t you want us? It´s a one in a live time offer,” Fred said and smirked. “Or are you with someone else?" Fred asked further ignoring Hermione´s exasperated huff.

"No, not that way…We're not....I just have feelings for him. It's difficult. Actually impossible."

"But when it's not possible, why don't give us a try? We cheer you up in no time," Fred said, sneaking an arm around Rose´s shoulders. Against better knowledge she relaxed into Fred. Savouring the closeness and started promptly imagining Snape. With a shake of her head she moved away.

"No. Sorry guys. I can't switch my feelings off. And honestly, it´s a bit weird, don´t you think?"

"What a shame. But we know when we´ve lost a battle." Fred shrugged planting nonetheless a small kiss onto Rose´s forehead.

"Right Freddie, and I'm afraid we should now really show up at home or mom will go on a rampage. Somewhere in my mind I hear her saying something about tea and cake this afternoon." George bent down and pulled Hermione into a kiss before he and Fred disappeared.

"You think they're angry or hurt?" Rose asked worriedly, glancing at her friend.

"No, I don't think so. Besides they'll come over it. And you're right it **is** a bit weird."

Rose nodded and flopped back down on her bed. It would be much easier to be with Fred but what-if´s were no solution and wouldn´t change her feelings for Snape either.

“So, there is someone you like?” Hermione asked into the silence.

Rose turned around, placing her chin on her crossed arms and sighed.

“Yes there is, but it´s complicated. Much more than your complicated,” Rose said quietly. Hermione gazed at her concerned and, all of a sudden, Rose was not sure if she should tell Hermione about her feelings. What would she think about her?

Hermione interpreted Rose´s hesitation right and said, “Rose if you don´t want to talk about it it´s ok. I mean…”

“No, I need someone who listens and tells me I´m not crazy.” Rose smiled but it looked forced, somewhat agonised. “Er, I think I´ll get some tea first, all right?”

“Yeah, why not…” Hermione shrugged.

Rose called for Kreacher and thanked the elf profoundly as he came back with tea and some biscuits. Rose placed the tray on the nightstand and poured overly complicated two cups of tea before she sat down next to Hermione and sipped a few times on here mug and sighed.

“Well, then I start, right?”

“Rose, you don´t have to, if you´re feeling not content with it.”

“No, I´m going mad if I don´t tell someone.”

“Ok.” Hermione nodded seriously and waited for Rose to go on.

“Merlin…You must promise not to laugh or, I don´t know, be disgusted or so. And please no moral lectures.”

Hermione looked puzzled and slightly taken aback but then nodded again.

“Uhm? Ok…”

Rose swallowed before she whispered, “It´s Snape.”

Hermione said nothing, she didn´t even move. For a moment Rose was unsure if her friend had heard her and started to repeat herself as Hermione, equally quiet asked, “Snape? You mean as in Professor Snape?”

“You know another?”

“Merlin! How did THAT happen?” Hermione sat bolt upright and stared with wide eyes over to Rose.

“I´m not sure. It just happened.”

“Is that why you tried so desperately to talk to him?”

“No, but I think it started with me looking in his Pensive... Heavens, I was really sorry about my spying and I wanted really badly to apologise for it. But he was so spitting mad with me. I mean, he avoided me for weeks.”

“Yes. I´ve noticed” Hermione huffed and took a biscuit. Rose chuckled at first but then scratched her neck and became serious again.

“I started dreaming of him, after I woke up in the infirmary. I thought when I just could get the chance to apologise, the dreams would stop. But they didn´t. Quite the opposite. And now I´m stuck with him and it´s getting worse every day.”

“How are you stuck with him?”

“He gives me extra lessons in potions over the holidays.”

“He…wait, what?”

“Dumbledore made him. Three weeks ago Snape rushed into our living room and announced the Headmaster wishes him to improve my Potions skills. This way I can take Potions again next school year. Though I decided to not become an Auror but a Healer or something like that.”

“That´s, wow. Snape is not happy I guess?” Hermione chuckled and ignored for the moment the career topic.

“I don´t know. At first I thought he was mad about it, but now after the first weeks…It´s strange. He´s almost nice. And patient. And it´s so different than seeing him in school. He´s relaxed and stays after lessons to talk to me and it´s, it´s really strange to see him as a man with actual hobbies and a real life outside of classes and not only as the dungeon bat we´re used to.” Rose breathed in and shrugged.

“Sounds nice.” Hermione felt a bit overwhelmed with Rose´s stream of thoughts and all the new information.

“It is. He said he doesn´t hate me. No idea what I will do with this. But I like our lessons. Creepy, huh? Sometimes he gets into a flow and talks a lot. I had no idea he could speak so much without sneers and insults. Of course it´s mostly about Potions, but it´s interesting and I can´t stop looking at him. He´s not ugly like all students always say. You just need to have a closer look. Because then you see that his black robes are rather elegant and mysterious and he wears them purely for the purpose of a good show. And his eyes…Damn, have you ever really looked in his eyes? They are like black bottomless holes you could drown in. And he´s tall and…” Rose sighed. “It´s maddening.”

“Blimey, Rose! What will you do now? Tell him?” From the thought alone Hermione felt anguished. But Rose jumped up, shaking her head vigorously.

“Are you nuts? He starts slowly to respect me. I can´t tell him. I will just live with it. So maybe I need sometimes a good cry and your open ear but apart from this I will only sit it out.”

“Are you sure? I mean listening to you it sounds like more than a little crush. You´re really in love with him, aren´t you?”

Rose´s shoulders slumped forward as she deflated, her eyes glistened with tears.

“Mione, I´m so stupid…I mean, Snape?” She clicked her tongue and chuckled humourless, it sounded more like a sob, actually.

“You don´t choose for whom you have feelings. It just happens.” Hermione put an arm around her friend, stroking softly over her back. “How often do you see him?”

“Every day,” Rose groaned into Hermione´s shoulder.

“What?” Hermione pushed her away and Rose looked up. Seeing her friends rather shocked face, she couldn´t help but laugh.

“Yes. Monday to Friday from 10 to 1 or longer, depending on my stupidity or the issue or how long we talk afterwards.”

“Ooooha. That is a lot of Snape.”

The girls looked at each other and snorted with laughter until they had to hold their stomachs and tears ran down their cheeks.

  



	8. Chapter 8

<<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>> 

Severus poured himself a double Scotch and relaxed into his favourite armchair, the book for the night ready on his lap. The whole weekend lay in front of him before he had to go back to Potter. No…Rose, he corrected himself. He had promised her to call her by her first name and he actually liked it. Liked the feeling of her name on his tongue and liked that it set her apart from her father. Thinking about her as Rose changed somehow everything, even the picture he held of her in his mind. Potter was the arrogant, stupidly brave and selfish brat he had to endure now since she sat first a foot into Hogwarts. But Rose was a young woman who was interested into what he taught her and with whom he enjoyed to spend the free time of his holidays. The only problem was that he was sure it would be quite an adjustment when they were back at Hogwarts and he had to slip back into his usual behaviour, especially towards Rose.

It was rather shocking how much he enjoyed her company.

Damn you Dumbledore. Why had this man always to be right? But again Albus had known that it would happen. Severus, indeed, didn´t hate Rose, though he congratulated himself almost daily for making it appear like this. And Rose on her part was a thankfully easy to manipulate opponent in this play. One sneer, a few lost points, a good placed insult and voila…She hated him. Just like he wanted her to.

God how many hours had Severus spent with Dumbledore discussing this, had listened to the man´s good-meant arguments in favour of Rose. But Severus refused to be nice to her. Not that it would be hard for him, no definitely not, quite the opposite, as the recent time showed clearly. Dumbledore thought it would be better for Rose. Though Severus saw not why. He fulfilled his promise and gave his best to keep her save. Oh and it could be so much easier if Rose wouldn´t attract any possible trouble. Just like this damned Tri Wizard Tournament. That had been quite a task to protect her. And what use had been there? None. Rose had been again more than once in deadly peril and Severus stood at the side and could do nothing more than watch, even as his Mark started burning and he´d known something was happening to her.

Severus shook his head. He had to stop these thoughts. There was definitely no use in them and he had sworn to let Rose not come close. Or closer as she came already. Most of the time he pretended convincingly, even for himself, that he didn´t care, that all he did was because Dumbledore had asked him to keep an eye on Rose. But it was a lie and Severus knew it all too well. At least since the Tournament where he actually started to care about her. And again the old coot was right. Yes, Severus cared about Rose. Therefore it was even more important to maintain his usual behaviour.

Severus nodded to himself and sipped on his drink, then scowled at the wall.

Oh who was he kidding? He already let his guards down around Rose. He had to be more cautious. But on the other hand, he had to admit that his summer was this far one of the most enjoyable ones, considering the last years. And Rose resembled with each passing year more and more her mother. Not so much visually, with her mop of black hair, but her character and the way she laughed. Gods, the girls laughter was contageous. Yes and then her eyes, of course. A pity she hid those glinting gemstones behind this disgusting frame that for whatever reason was so like the glasses her father had worn.

Oh, oh, Severus…Glinting gemstones?

Severus sneered about himself. He´d promised himself to never again care about others. Or someone in particular. It was too dangerous. In so many kinds.

Completely lost in his musings, Severus stared into nothingness.

He sipped casually on his drink as a sharp pain rushed through his arm, forcing him to send his drink flying across the room and clutch onto his left forearm.

“Fuck!” he growled. What was that? Releasing his own flesh out of his death grip he looked down. The Dark Mark was angry red and looked somewhat inflamed. He tried to figure out what that meant as a second blazing pain shot through his arm up to his shoulder and neck and with it came some crippled message. It was a summoning. But…the Dark Lord was defeated? He had seen it. So who…? A third wave of nausea causing pain washed over him.

Bracing himself, he triple-checked his Occlumency barrier before he followed the call.

  

***

Severus looked around. All his senses were wide awake and his wand ready in hand. He was somewhere outside of every town or village. It was so dark around him that he could see the unobscured black velvet of the night sky above, similar to the nights around Hogwarts. A few metres away stood an old barn. It looked not a bit trustworthy, so he figured that he must be right. With long practised stealth he approached the building, but he´d been evidently expected already. The door swung open before he had even reached the closest corner.

“Severus!” The pale form of Lucius Malfoy greeted him haughtily, though weeks on the run had taken a toll on the man. His former elegant appearance looked now haggard. His clothes were dirty, his hair hung limp and greasy from his head. His eyes lay deep in his emaciated face, but still held the arrogant expression Severus was well accustomed with.

Severus followed him in silence into the run down building. Though calling it a building was an exaggeration. The walls lacked here and there planks and the roof was so full of holes, even a sieve would be jealous.

"Aaaaaah, finally. The Dark Lord's favourite." Bellatrix´ manic singsong came from the far end of their current habitation.

"What does that mean?" Severus asked with cold calculating eyes while his gaze wandered over the remaining Death Eaters. The Carrow twins giggled but he knew that they were, anyway, far from sane. The picture Severus saw was a group of 12 people all in a comparable condition like Lucius Malfoy. 12 people Severus knew only all too well and had not felt the slightest desire to ever see again.

"Well?" he inquired into the silence.

"I always wondered what it was the Dark Lord has seen in you, Severus." Bellatrix crept around him one hand trailing over his chest and back as she rounded him. "He'd been so convinced that you're his man, not Dumbledore´s. But I am not him. I don't trust you."

"Then why bother with summoning me? How did you do it by the way?" Severus looked down at her, his voice even and icy. Bellatrix cackled.

"It's always good to know where your friends are but even better to know where your enemies are...” She looked at him, her gaze predatory. “Do you like my calling method?” Again this high pitched giggle that made all his hairs rise. Severus considered Bellatrix further with a cold gaze.

“Not at all. It was crude and without any finesse.”

“Ooooh, poor you! I´m so sorry!” Bellatrix' face twisted into a mocking pout and she fluttered her eyelashes at him. "I created it just for you."

Severus refrained only barely from hexing Bellatrix. But it wasn't worth to risk his health, so Severus took several deep and controlled breaths. Merlin, how he hated this woman.

“We need to know on which side you stand, Severus,” Bellatrix explained finally. “We want to go on with the Dark Lord's mission. And this Potter girl is still alive. Oh and of course there are those damned bastards who attack our families! OUR families, Severus!”

“I´m on your side, like I always was. Even with you in charge," Severus stated with an arrogant sneer. Somewhere deep in his mind, in one of the most secluded and hidden areas, he felt the confirmation for his earlier thoughts. That here was why it was dangerous to care about people. Bellatrix was as determined as she was mad and when she wanted Rose dead she would not give up.

“Good, because we need the information only you can provide. I wish that you stay close to Dumbledore and if you can manage to Potter too until I call you again.” With that Bellatrix turned and dismissed Severus with a flick of her hand.

Severus thought swiftly before he said, "How good then that Dumbledore obliged me with extra lessons for Potter. After the holidays I see her three times a week all alone." She needn't know that he saw Rose already daily, this way he had time to conceive a plan.

Bellatrix looked at him a manic grin distorting her features.

"Ooooh that's brilliant. You gain her trust and in the end betray her and bring her to me." Bellatrix giggled.

"Gain her trust? The girl hates me and in five years I only fuelled this hate. So how shall I convince her that I like her suddenly?" Snape looked expectantly with a raised brow.

"I don't care! Fuck her if necessary." She giggled. “Severus…I´ll watch you…” She tapped her wand at her nose and with a last giggle walked to the backside of the shack. Severus' insides clenched but without hesitation or further glance to the other ragged figures around him, he disapparated, right in Dumbledore´s front yard.

He knocked sharply and was not the slightest bit surprised as Dumbledore opened within seconds.

“Albus, we need to talk!”


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! :)
> 
> Just in case you´re wondering or I confused you with the changed title:  
> Last night I couldn´t sleep and because I wasn´t too excited with my chosen work name, anyway, I reconsidered everything and viola, here it is ;)  
> The titles will be all lines of song texts by Lauren Aquilina. I tried to find in each line a summary for Rose´s feelings throughout each part. (Hope I accomplished that goal, though)  
> Anyway, this first title is from "Wonder". (If you don´t know the artist, go check her out!! :D)

<<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>> 

On Monday morning, Rose sat in the kitchen for breakfast, nose deep in one of Snape's books as Remus came in.

“Hey! Good morning? News?” she asked after looking up and glancing at the newspaper, clutched under his arm.

“Yes, but no good ones.” Remus looked tired and like a nice hot bath would do him a world of good. His clothes looked worse than ever and the worry lines on his face seemed deeper than usual, but maybe it only looked so because of his obvious tiredness.

“You want some tea?” Rose asked but poured him already a cup. "I made scones if you want..." Rose pointed at a plate on the table.

“Where´s Sirius?” Remus asked instead of answering and slumped down on a chair. His whole body ached and he thought he could fall asleep right here on the spot and don't wake up for several days.

“Uhm, I´m not sure. I thought I heard him upstairs a bit ago, but I haven´t seen him yet. What about the news then?”  Rose seated herself opposite him, watching as he put his hands around the hot cup. He eyed the scones for a moment and eventually took one, closing his eyes with an appreciative hum as he chewed.

“There were raids again. We were out there all night, but we were merely like fire fighters: never there before something happened only for damage control.” Remus sighed heavy and rubbed over his face.

“Is someone dead?”

“Luckily not. You should think once Voldemort is dead it´s getting a bit quieter. But no, a new group pops out of nowhere. We still don´t know what exactly they want and how far they're willing to go, just that they are as equally cruel as the Death Eaters. Dumbledore works on that. And just speaking of Death Eaters, of course they make their comeback too and join in on the fun of night raids and spreading fear and terror.” Remus closed his eyes for a moment. Rose was torn between giving him a break and asking further, but in the end her curiosity won.

“The Death Eaters are back? I hadn´t thought they would regroup so fast…Not with the Order and the Ministry on their heels. What is with Snape?”

“It seems as Bellatrix Lestrange is in charge now. That´s what Severus said to Dumbledore. And you know Bellatrix is beyond mad. She, more than anyone else, had always believed in everything Voldemort had done and I think she wants to carry on with it, like to hold up the memory.”

“So Snape still spies for us?" A disquieting sensation spread in Rose's guts and she tightened her grip on her cup.

"Yes. It would be too suspicious to not return. And besides that we need his insight in the events." Remus felt still not comfortable with this practise not even after years. It was wrong to burden a single person with so much responsibility. And he knew Albus asked a lot of Severus and expected only the best. Remus was sure he wouldn't want to be in Severus' shoes.

"And this other group cannot be Death Eaters too?” Rose inquired hopefully. That would be the least disconcerting scenario.

“No, temporary we thought the same as a restaurant full of Muggles exploded, but we think it was just a distraction to set us on the wrong track as in the same night Selwyn´s wife and two children were attacked while sleeping. I highly doubt that any Death Eater would attack his own family…”

“Miss Potter.” Snape´s black form appeared in the doorway to the kitchen. Even without this formal address so suddenly again, Rose would've known that something was wrong. Snape looked as tired as Remus though he wore it with more countenance. Obviously he, too, had participated in the events of the previous night and surely not openly on the side of the Order.

The men nodded shortly their greetings to each other.

Rose stood up and hugged Remus before she followed Snape upstairs into the library.

“You look tired,” Rose said cautiously as they sat opposite each other in their usual chairs. Not sure if their relationship was actually stable enough to be so forward.

Considering a moment Snape answered finally, “I am. Playing on both sides is for all intents and purposes no fun.”

“But sometimes?” Rose´s look was incredulous as she gazed at Snape.

“No, actually not. It´s tiring and hard work.”

“Do you hate being a spy?” Rose´s eyes widened in expectation also because she didn´t know if now was too much and he stopped her questioning.

“I do, but I don´t do it for me. The information I obtain are for the greater good. It doesn´t matter how I feel about it or how much I risk. It is about more than my life.”

“I think I know what you mean. I always knew I would die to defeat Voldemort. I never expected to get a second chance, though.”

Both went silent brooding for themselves until Rose remembered the circumstances of her coming back to life.

"Can I ask you something?"

Snape lifted his gaze and frowned slightly but nodded eventually.

"You can always ask but it remains my privilege to answer or not.” He was not sure that he liked the direction of this. Usually after ‘Can I ask you something’ followed a personal question and he didn´t deem any more intimacy wise, not like the things evolved.

"Were you there? In the Ministry?" Rose asked and leant a bit forward in her chair.

Snape considered what to say and settled with a question himself.

“Why do you ask?”

“Well, I relive the things from the Ministry in my dreams,” she began and watched him intensely, “and there is the point when I decide to come back and shortly before I…I don’t know how to name it. It´s just. Dumbledore was there in my mind to explain things to me and then at the end I was sure to see you. But not in real life only in my mind. And I´m wondering if this is real or just what my brain adds while dreaming.”

His black eyes bored into her, searching. He hadn´t thought she would notice. Not with her more than limited skills in Occlumency.

"You´re right," he admitted and added with own interest, “But how can you possibly know? I thought…I was subtle.”

"Subtle? You mean because you stood in the shadows and wore the cloak and the mask?"

"I don´t know how you visualised me."

“I´m a bit confused…”

Snape sighed. Well then, the truth.

“I admit that I was maybe a tad worried. After Dumbledore ended his connection with you I invaded your mind and checked for myself. As I felt your presence I left.”

Rose was speechless for a moment. She stared at the man opposite her.

“You were worried?”

“Never mind. So you saw me in robes and my mask but identified me nonetheless?”

Rose accepted his avoidance of the first topic and nodded for the other.

"Yes. You have such an attitude.  You can't hide, not even behind a cloak or a mask.”

"Attitude..." Snape muttered. His eyebrows twitched briefly upwards. Rose chuckled nervously maybe she should be more careful not to insult him.

Suddenly Snape stood up and walked over to the fireplace. With his hands crossed behind his back he looked into the flames. Then as he turned to face her, he crossed his arms in front of his chest, his face a mixture of disbelieve and amazement.

“You can only have seen me for less than a second. I withdrew as soon as you came back…” And I was absolutely sure you are not dead, he added in thoughts.

“It was more one blink of the eye, really,” Rose said.

“And still you figured it was me. Impressive. Or terrifying.”

“That´s your choice. Please don´t get me wrong but even in disguise you are unmistakable you. Your posture. The way you go…Well I just saw you standing there. Maybe it was that. Hooded man in the shadows and my brain pointed on you…Or it was because I already knew your presence from our lessons last year. Whatever.” Rose shrugged. “So…Were you there because of Voldemort?” she asked seriously.

“Yes. He summoned me.” Somewhere in him something cringed at this thought and he meant to feel a headache form right behind his temples.

“What would have happened when you´d decided to stay away?” Rose slid to the edge of her chair, looking unsure with slightly inclined head up to Snape.

“Dumbledore told me to go, to maintain my cover.” Severus knew that he eluded her question and Rose acknowledged it with a frown but astonishingly let it drop.

“You know, you could just give me a task and I learn for myself so you can go home and sleep a bit,” Rose offered with a small smile.

“I´m fine. Thank you for your concern.” He raised his voice to the end as if asking.

“You´re welcome. But maybe I could bring you a cup of tea?”

Again he gazed at her, considering what to say. Finally, inclining his head, he answered, “Tea would be nice.”

“I´m back in a minute.” Rose rushed out of the room not the slightest thought wasted on the idea to just summon Kreacher.

Severus shook his head slightly as he watched Rose hurry out of the room. It was too easy to like her, now that he´d allowed it. He shouldn´t feel like this in her presence.

Like this…Comfortable. Relaxed. Far too much himself.

His gaze drifted to the flames which flickered merrily despite the summer outside these walls.

Would she hate him again if she knew what Bellatrix had asked from him? Would she understand? More important would she believe he was always there to protect her as best as he could? At some point she had to know about Bellatrix' plan...but not today and maybe not from him.

His musings were disrupted as Rose reappeared.

“I´m sorry, sir, I haven´t asked how you like your tea, so I brought sugar and milk as well.”

He gazed at her, composing his thoughts, smiling inwardly about her nowadays omnipresent respectful address of his person.

“Thank you, Rose. And for the next time, one spoon sugar, a drop milk.” He smiled amused as she gaped at him.

Rose´s heart missed one beat. Maybe she´d never truly accommodate with Snape calling her by her first name or the fact that he smiled rather often lately. How had she never before noticed how attractive he was? Not commonly handsome, no but uniquely attractive, especially when he smiled, just like right now. Rose let her breath out in a low, shaky sigh.

“May I have this promised tea now?” Snape inquired with a teasing undercurrent and raised an eyebrow.

“Oh, yes. I´m sorry.” Rose´s cheeks glowed pink as she offered him the cup. Unsure what else to say or do, she watched him as he sipped on his tea.

“I assume you'd drink your tea without milk and sugar,” she said finally.

“Sometimes, every once in a while, I like something sweet, though,” he stated calmly, his gaze lingering on Rose in a way that made her skin tingle and wonder if he might have an ulterior motive.

“Well, then you like a strawberry cupcake to your tea maybe? I made them this morning.” Rose fidgeted with Snape´s gaze still fixed on her but tried to ignore it.

“Only when your baking skills are better than your brewing skills otherwise I would rather refuse. I´d like to live just a bit longer.”

Rose´s first impulse was to yell at him for being this rude after they´d gotten along so well recently and especially when she only tried to be nice when he obviously had a rough night. But then it struck her, he weren´t insulting her, the man was only joking.

"You...Is that your sense of humour?"

"Yes, I would say it´s a bit dry at times and sarcastic, obviously." Severus smirked.

"So how much over the years was just your humour that I didn´t get so I felt insulted and shouted at you?”

“Regarding you, not too much I think. But I am not that much an asshole you students like to make me to.” Severus crossed his legs and emptied his tea.

Rose regarded him with a scowl.

“Then, maybe a bit less subtle would do…”

“But then it isn´t funny anymore, is it?”

“For you maybe…But you love it. Really. You enjoy being all this nasty, smirking, sneering and insulting…” Rose stopped suddenly unsure how to end. She had to remember that she sat here with one of her Professors and not a friend, no matter how close she felt right now to him.

“Yes? Go ahead.” A now not so subtle, amused twinkle was visible in his eyes. The atmosphere in the room had changed rather dramatically and Severus had to admit that he enjoyed himself, even more as he noticed Rose´s scowl shifted into a full-fledged glare.

“Oh you!” Rose exclaimed but laughed.

***

“And?” Rose inquired nervously as Snape tasted the cupcake Kreacher had brought this time.

“Well, this piece of bakery lets me hope that there is a chance to make you a decent brewer if you get your act together.”

“Um, thank you?” she asked slightly unsure but guessed Snape had meant it as a compliment, though one never knew with the man. “Then we should start rather urgently, don´t you think?”

“Yes. I told you about ‘no dilly-dallying’ in our first lesson…So let´s start for today. I thought now you understand the basics and a bit more we go further and look a bit deeper into theory.”

Rose nodded and concentrated on listening to Snape as he went full lecturing mode and tried to explain why it was so important to follow the recipe and what difference it could make to use a false prepared ingredient.

“Let´s take an example,” he said after finishing with the basics. “The Draught of Peace. Correctly brewed it relieves your anxieties, helps you calming down. But if you take too much hellebore, you produce a potent poison. Just half a spoon more as called for and the consumer cannot be saved. If you don´t take powdered moonstone but the whole one you might endure a headache in whose progress you won´t be able to tell anymore if you´re human or flubberworm. The same with simmering the draught for a while before ready to use. Not simmered alters the effect and the consumer will fall into a deep coma-like sleep.”

Rose sighed heavily.

“Maybe I should stick at cooking.”

Snape chuckled lowly and shook his head. At the sound Rose´s heart made a sudden extra jump, she loved when he chuckled or laughed but he did it far too seldom, though his honest smiles were quite a compensation.

“Give it a try, Potter,” Snape said seriously, teasing her consciously with her last name.

“I do. I thought that were obvious.”

“I see your efforts. And I must admit I´m slightly irritated.”

Rose´s gaze shot up. “Irritated?”

“Indeed. You could have tried more in the last years and maybe spared us one or another fight concerning your half-witted incompetence. Not to mention that I, against common meaning, don´t enjoy recurring fights, they are simply tiring over the time.” Severus sighed. He had to stop confiding his thoughts to Rose. It didn´t really concern her.

“I´m sorry.” Rose said softly and she really was. It was not only he who felt their fights exhausting.

Severus gazed at her, silently.  Then he stood abruptly up, stretched his tired body to get it moving and donned quickly his cloak.

“Well, I think it´s enough for today. Enjoy your afternoon,” he said with a brief nod.

“You too. I hope you can rest.” Rose offered him an empathic smile.

As Snape left the library Sirius strode in. The two men merely acknowledged each other and Rose thought for a brief moment how it would be to be with Snape and she had to tell Sirius. No appealing thought, really.

“How are you, dear?” Sirius sat in Snape´s recently vacated chair.

“I´m fine. Have you seen Remus? He´d asked for you.”

“Yes we spoke shortly before he departed for his bed.” Rose noticed how Sirius´ eyes shot to the ceiling obviously imagining where Remus was.

“Why don´t you tell him?” Rose asked frankly curious.

“Tell him what?”

“That you love him, idiot!”

“Rose, I don´t…” Sirius looked at her, defiant.

“Cut it! I know what I see. I´m not stupid.”

“No. You aren´t,” Sirius grumbled.

“So?” Rose lifted one eyebrow, questioningly.

“Yeah I will…sometimes.” The last word was practically inaudible but Rose gave him nonetheless a scrutinising look.


	10. Chapter 10

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Rose watched entranced how Snape´s finger slid over the page of the book. He had such long, delicate fingers. She couldn´t help but wonder how it would feel like if he stroked her with them.

A pleasant shiver rippled over her body and she bit her lip to contain the sigh that threatened to slip past her lips. It got harder and harder to concentrate when he stood so close to her. A strand of his hair brushed her cheek as he moved his head in a slight nod towards the book. His low, velvety voice vibrated behind Rose and she was sure she could feel it at her back, even through the backrest of her armchair.

Rose inhaled deeply and noticed that her thoughts had gone astray again and so had Snape.

“Potter! Could you be so nice to listen to me?” Severus felt the old familiar irritation creep up. The one he knew only too well when it came to Rose Potter. Sometimes this girl was more than annoying, infuriatingly so.

“I´m sorry, my thoughts developed some life of their own,” Rose said softly. She dared not to turn to look at Snape, fearing he would recognise the kind of thoughts she´d had.

“That was obvious.” Severus stepped away from Rose´s chair and crossed the short distance to his own, reaching for his cloak. “Maybe, we should stop for today.” Snape's one eyebrow arched high up towards his hair.

“Hmmmm…” Rose raked her brain for something, anything, to say or ask to delay his departure. But then Snape took the book from her and sat down in his chair, resting his hands on the cover and crossing his legs.

“I spoke with Professor Dumbledore about the possibility to extend your lessons by practical units. He agreed to let you come to my house. It has special wards and as long as you stay inside you should be safe. It is most probably not as safe as here or in Hogwarts but it will do. And it is the easiest way to have access to a full equipped laboratory."

Rose's brain froze at his words. Did he really say...?

“I…I will…visit you?” Rose´s heart stuttered like her words.

“That´s what I said, isn´t it? Is there a problem?” Severus asked, sneering. What had she expected, the kitchen in Grimmauld Place? Preferably with Black sniffing about?

“No, no. I mean…When do we start?” Rose managed a wan smile, her heart still raced unnaturally fast in her chest.

“In one week.”

“Oh?” Rose tried to hide her disappointment.

“For next week I have planned something different than this here.” He gestured around the library. “And it is a good preparation for actual brewing.”

“Ok. Are you going to tell what you´ve planned or will I have to see what it is?”

“You will see!” Severus smirked and twitched his eyebrows in a playful manner. Rose chuckled.

“Having fun?” Sirius all but growled from the door whereas Snape´s face darkened.

“Obviously, before you appeared,” Snape snarled.

“Sirius, Professor, please!” The two men glared at each other and Rose sighed in frustration.

“I´ll see you next Monday.” Snape nodded his greeting to her and rushed out of the room.

“Are you serious?" Rose scowled at her godfather.

“I thought I was Sirius,” Sirius huffed.

“Stop talking nonsense! You know what I mean. Why can´t you just stop provoking him? You don´t have to love him or call him friend but then try at least to ignore him!”

“Ignore him? When he´s in my house and spends hours and hours with my goddaughter, doing Merlin knows what?” Sirius waved his hands in far-reaching gestures, his face reddening gradually.

“He teaches me Potions!” Rose glared over to Sirius. Why for Merlin's sake had she to put up with this?

“Oh yes, I have seen **that**!” Sirius sneered and shook his head in disbelieve.

Rose stood up, tired of craning her neck but most of all tired of this conversation.

“Where is your problem?”

“You hated him, too!” Sirius said loud enough that it was almost a shout. He crossed his arms over his chest.

“But I don´t anymore!”

“Why?” Sirius looked really clueless and even a tad hurt.

“He´s not that bad and he treats me with respect,” Rose said wearily.

“Respect? Since when?”

“Since I´ve stopped behaving like a sulking child. Something you should try, too!” she shouted, throwing her arms in an exasperated gesture over her head.

“He´s still a filthy Death Eater!”

“He´s not! He´s on our side and you now that. Can we stop this, please?”

Rose had enough of this. She and Sirius had the same argument for weeks now. They´d already said everything in one or another way and still they came back to it, reiterating the obvious.

Sirius leant against the door frame as Rose walked over and wrapped her arms around his waist.

“Please. I don´t want to argue with you and especially not about Snape. I´m glad that he and I get along so I really learn something. Can't you accept it? It's so much easier for me when he doesn't insult me with every other breath.”

Sirius sighed heavily but stroked over the back of Rose´s head.

“It´s hard to forget so many years of hate.”

“No one says you must forget but maybe it´s time to go on.”

Sirius pulled her closer into his arms and kissed the top if her head, but said nothing.

After a few moments Rose pushed herself away.

"You'd like pancakes for lunch?" she asked with a mischievous grin.

"You know I could die for your pancakes," Sirius chuckled. “I just need a moment. I want to look into something,” he added and headed towards the back of the library, already pulling books from the shelves before Rose was gone.

Shaking her head she left the library but stopped a few steps down the corridor. At the top of the stairs stood Snape. He regarded her with a strange yet thoughtful gaze.

“I thought you already left,” Rose said quietly, there was no need to alarm her godfather again, really. She walked the rest of the way over to her Professor.

“Actually I would have, but I got caught as you defended me so vehemently,” Snape said with his usual smirk.

“Why shouldn´t I? It **is** different between us.” Rose shrugged and started smiling as she watched the change in Snape´s facial expression. The smirk disappeared and gave way to a smile of his own.

At the foot of the stairs, Snape turned towards Rose.

“Have a nice weekend.” He smiled while inclining his head and then strode quickly towards the front door.

“You really get along, don´t you?” Remus asked, leaning in the doorway leading to the kitchen and watching her.

Rose shrugged with a grin and pushed Remus ahead of her to the kitchen.

“I´ll make pancakes. You want strawberries or rather blueberries with them?”

Remus sat down on the table, refilling his cup.

“Blueberries,” he said sipping his tea, grinning.

Rose started buzzing around the kitchen and soon the smell of fresh pancakes filled the room. As the last one was ready, Rose set them on the table and sat down opposite Remus.

“Kreacher?” Rose asked. The elf appeared with a plop. “Can you fetch Sirius, please?” The creature nodded curtly and disappeared again. Rose shook her head. The elf and her godfather would never get along with each other.

“So, how´s your lessons?” Remus asked suddenly.

“Oh, um, rather good.” Rose smiled. “And we discuss a lot of the research stuff afterwards. Just yesterday Snape gave me another book about Wolfsbane.”

“You´re really determined to go this way.” Remus´ smile had vanished and now he looked rather grave.

“Why do I have the feeling you don’t like that?” Rose frowned. Shouldn´t he be glad that someone made an effort to find a better treatment or even a cure?

“It´s not that I don´t like it. But it´s an unthankful topic and…”

“Ok. Let that be my problem ok? Besides it´s just something I´m interested in right now, maybe in a few months I´ll burn everything about it because it´s too frustrating.” She managed a broad grin and pushed the plate with pancakes closer to Remus.

“You´re too stubborn for your own good,” he said with a sigh but returned her grin and helped himself to some pancakes.


	11. Chapter 11

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As Rose opened her eyes first, it was already Monday but scarcely past dawn. She had still hours before Snape would be there. Grumbling she turned away from the window and pulled the blanket over her head. Just a little longer and then she would shower and go down for breakfast and…

“Potter!”

Rose woke with a start as someone banged against her door. Dizzy she looked around. Again a bang before the door burst open, revealing a not so calm Snape on the other side.

With a small shriek, Rose pulled her blanket over her half naked body but was definitely awake now.

“P-P-Professor!” Rose felt her cheeks turn pink. The first time he saw her only in underwear had been entirely different in her dreams.

“It´s a quarter past 10. I´m waiting.” Snape´s face was blank, but he arched his eyebrow.

“Oh no! Give me a moment. I´ll hurry.” Merlin, that was embarrassing.

Rose jumped out of her bed and hastened into the bathroom.

A few minutes later she stumbled into the kitchen, were she was greeted by chill silence.

“I´m ready!” Rose blurted and looked cautiously from Sirius to Snape who glared at each other.

“Good,” Snape said without looking away from Sirius. “I thought we could use the backyard this week.” Finally he turned his gaze towards Rose. “You need breakfast first?”

„No, I´m fine with just tea.”

Rose took two cups, milk and sugar and filled a pot with tea before she showed Snape the way out into the backyard. Sirius glared holes into her back as she left the kitchen but kept, thank Merlin, his mouth shut.

“I´m really sorry that I overslept,” Rose mumbled sheepishly as they stood outside in the sun.

“No harm done.” Snape´s eyes were serious as he looked at her without moving to start whatever he had planned for today.

“So what do we do this week?“ Rose asked finally. Snape pulled a basket out of his cloak and tapped his wand against it, enlarging it back to its usual size. From within, he took a picnic blanket which he spread out on the ground before retrieving a bunch of items, he placed on the blanket. Only as he finished his task, he looked up again.

“Sit.“ He patted the only free space on the blanket right next to him.

Oh my, that was close. Rose swallowed and wished her heart would beat less forceful, but sat down next to her teacher, mimicking his posture and crossed her legs.

“When working with potions it comes in handy to recognise ingredients not only with our eyes and the help of books, but also with our other senses. You can feel the texture with your fingers. You can taste the flavour. You can smell the scent.” Snape´s voice trickled down her body like honey and Rose couldn´t look away as his eyes stared into hers. It was mesmerizing.

“Try this,” he said suddenly, snapping her out of her daze and gave her an apple.

Severus cleared subtly his throat and tried to focus back on teaching. But that was quite difficult today. Rose´s eyes were so damn green out here in the morning sun, much greener than Lily´s ever had been and they twinkled with every sun beam. Beautiful eyes. Had Rose always had such beautiful eyes?

“What must I do?” Rose whispered, still not looking away.

“Use your senses.”

He watched her as she rolled the apple in her hands. She stroked it and sniffed the skin.

“Describe it,” he demanded softly, never inverting his gaze.

“It´s smooth and smells like apple,” she said and then took a bite. “And it tastes like apple.” She looked back into his eyes and couldn´t supress a giggle as she saw his expression. “Sorry, but what can I say? It´s an apple, right?”

Severus scratched over his forehead but chuckled. “Well, yes…” He tore his gaze from her lips, moist with apple juice and quickly stood up and undressed from his jacket. After considering a moment he put his waistcoat aside as well and unwrapped his cravat so he wore only his shirt as he sat back down. It wasn´t often he felt his choice of clothing restricting.

Rose swallowed and downright stared. In Snape´s case, he was almost naked like this. The white shirt fitted closely and showed a muscular but lean body. It cost her all willpower to tear her gaze away and focus back on the lesson.

“Is something wrong?” Severus asked as he noticed Rose´s stare.

“No, not wrong. It´s just, I never before saw you wearing so few clothes…” Merlin, she hated herself for blushing right now. Her biggest fear was after all that he would find out about her crush and blushing constantly did nothing to conceal it.

“Well, I enjoy summer too, even when I wear more than you.” He smirked as he gazed at her top, shorts and bare feet.

“I would die with all those clothes. I really don´t know how you do it.”

“It´s sufferable.” Severus shrugged.

Rose gaped at him a moment before she burst into laughter. Severus chuckled, too, but at the same moment is inner alarm bells shrieked: too close, keep your distance.

“Ok, we can go on…” Rose grinned as she stopped laughing.

The two of them spent the rest of the morning outside. Rose looked at all the things Snape had brought. They remained with looking at and name them, though there were not only fruits and vegetables but flowers and different potion ingredients, too.

Rose had to admit that she enjoyed herself even more than usual and that didn´t lessen over the following days, especially because sitting so close to her crush tinted the world all over in colours of pink. That Snape touched her occasionally while they worked only added to her infatuation.

On Thursday, Rose sat relaxed next to Snape but frowned as he pulled a black cloth out of his pocket.

Rose eyed it suspiciously. “What´s that?”

Severus grinned. “I thought about to blindfold you today.”

“You, what?” Rose gulped as her heart started racing. Blindfolding felt a bit too intimate, aside from the fact that she would have no clue what he´d do to her.

Inwardly Rose snorted about that thought. It was not like Snape would do anything to her besides test her senses relating to Potions.

“The last days, we worked through your perceptions, but you knew all the time what the sample is because you saw it. I want now that you recognise the substances without seeing them. Imagine you have a potion and you don´t know what´s in it. Alone from looking at it you won´t find out either. Of course tasting it is no option, but you could identify the scent of at least one ingredient, maybe more. And training that works far better when you can´t see.”

“So, you blindfold me and let me sniff whatever you hold under my nose and I will tell you what it is?”

“That was the thought.” Severus eyed her expectantly and was sure she would decline.

“Ok.” Rose nodded. She put her glasses aside and let Snape blindfold her. The fabric was surprisingly cool against her skin and silky. It smelled like Snape, an intriguing mixture of herbs, spicy potions, something warm and wooden and a faint hint of liquorice.

“Ready? Here´s the first.” Severus held a green apple under Rose´s nose and waited. His eyes drank in the tempting sight she displayed. She looked more than beautiful with her slightly parted, pink lips as she furrowed her forehead for a moment before a smile spread over her features.

“Apple.”

“Indeed,” he nodded, even though she couldn't see it and managed to tear his gaze away from her lips. 'Fuck her if necessary' giggled Bellatrix in his head, so he shook it again and concentrated on the things he held out for Rose.

They went on with this until Rose felt slightly nauseous from all the smells and the forced breathing in.

“Not bad, you´ve even identified one substance in a potion.” Snape acknowledged with a small nod as she withdrew the blindfold and blinked up to him, eyes narrowed against the brightness.

“I had the feeling I couldn´t even identify the simple things. Everything after the apple was really hard.”

“That´s a matter of training. The more you practise the easier it becomes.” Severus shrugged and started repacking the basket.

“Would you do it too?” Rose asked and caused Severus to stop packing.

“Do what?”

“Take the blindfold and guess what I hold under your nose.” Rose waited anxiously, it was unnerving that her mouth was quite often quicker than her brain. But after a moment Snape gave her the blindfold and settled back next to her with crossed legs.

“I guess it´s only fair if you test me as well.” He nodded once and leant closer to allow Rose to wrap the piece of cloth around his head.

Rose took her time with choosing one item but in the end took a small box and opened it.

Snape inhaled a few short breaths and then smiled.

“Tea. A berry blend with strawberries and bramble.” That was easy.

“Yes, right,” Rose said and unknotted the blindfold. Her hand brushed lightly over his cheek as she took the cloth away.

Severus looked at her and then suddenly turned to start packing again.

“Do we repeat that tomorrow?” Rose asked. It was an interesting experience to sit next to Snape and don't see him but feel him, even though he´d never really touched her. It was as if her sense of touch had expanded somehow. Definitely strange.

“I assumed it,” he answered, carefully avoiding eye contact. He felt her gaze on his back and was overly aware of the location her hand had touched his skin.

***

The next morning came and Rose waited. At 11 o´clock she took her tea outside and sat alone in the backyard. She turned as someone opened the door.

Only Remus.

“Severus will not come today. He´d been summoned last night and feels not well.”

“He sent a message?”

“Yes, only a moment ago.” Remus sat down next to her.

Rose looked down into her tea, unable to hide her disappointment.

“He said he will come by to discuss the details for next week when he´s better.”

“Ok…” Rose replied hollow.

“How are you?” Remus asked, touching her shoulder blade with soft fingers.

“I´m fine,” she said, although she wasn't.

“You´re disappointed that he´s not here.“

“It´s so obvious?” But it was not only that. She was worried, too. What did happen last night that he felt unable to come today to their lesson?

“I´d never thought to see you like this when it´s about Severus.“ Remus scratched the back of his head.

“I know. It´s strange. But we built some kind of truce over the last weeks. And he´s really different than I know him from school.”

“I see. I always thought that he might be different somewhere deep under this black shell. I mean, Lily liked him too, so he can´t be only bitter and spiteful.”

“He isn´t. Actually he´s quite funny once you understand his humour.”

“I´m glad, that you two are over this past of yours and that he can see you and not only James and what we all did to him.” Remus gaze became remorseful. They hadn´t been very nice to Snape back in school and he regretted everything of it.

Rose frowned.

“Yes. You were really mean. And I can understand his aversion against my dad and Sirius and you. I´d most likely feel the same if I´d been assaulted by blokes like my dad and Sirius. I mean, had no one ever come up with the idea to stop bullying him? Or couldn´t **you** have said something instead of watch them? No one helped him, ever. Even my mom was unfair. He didn´t mean to call her mudblood, he was just hurt…” The words leaked practically out of her mouth before she could stop them.

“Woah, Rose, how do you know?” That was definitely one memory Remus was not eager to be remembered of but did only too well.

“I saw his memory last school year. He was away with Malfoy and I looked into his Pensive. Merlin, he was beyond mad as he caught me. It took me two month to corner him to apologise.”

Remus watched Rose intently for a moment.

“You´ve changed. You grew up over the last months. You manage what we couldn´t. I´m proud of you. So is Sirius, even when he can´t understand or barely tolerate your, what did you say? Truce? Well your truce with Snape. I mean, look at you, you sit here and defend a man you once hated dearly.”

Rose leant her head against Remus´ shoulder. What would he think if he knew how her feelings really looked like? Would he be disgusted? Angry? Or would he understand her?

“How are things with Sirius?” she asked instead.

“Why?”

“Oh come on. Don´t play thick. He loves you. You love him. You both do nothing about it.”

“We are friends. For 26 years now. You can´t throw this away so easily.”

“It´s not like you will go away and never see each other again…”

“No, but…I don´t know what Sirius thinks about it, but I´m afraid to lose a good friend if it doesn´t work out between us.”

“I don´t want to lose one of you, but it feels like it will happen. It makes me sad to see you both struggle with it. You should talk. It wouldn´t mean to make a decision, but you can discuss the matter and look where each one of you stands.”

Remus smiled sadly.

“That sounds very mature. I´ll keep it in mind.”

Rose hugged him and kissed his cheek.

“I´m sure you sort it out. Eventually.”


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!   
> I only wanted to say, thank you!  
> You see, I write because I love it and definitely not for friendly comments.  
> But -BUT- can you imagine how ridiculously happy it makes me that there are people outside who like what I do? It's soooo great. So, thank you for the comments so far and those who left kudos!!! :D

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Rose stepped, or more stumbled ungracefully but managed not to fall, out of the fire and brushed ash and soot from her clothes. She looked around and felt strange, unreal. She was really here.

Snape had not come by over the weekend like Remus had said. He´d merely sent a message on Sunday evening with his address and the time he expected Rose to arrive. And now she was here. In Snape´s home.

“Rose,” Snape greeted her from across the room, expression unreadable and posture rigid.

Rose heart stuttered but she tried a smile. “Hello, Professor. It´s nice.” She indicated with a glance around that she meant his home.

“It´s depressing,” he answered, arching an eyebrow.

It was depressing. The small living room had hardly enough space for the shelves and two chairs in front of the fireplace. The windows were small and it was dark. The muddy green tapestry only added to the bleak atmosphere. The rest of the house was not better or different. Everything was small and dark and felt cold and unfriendly. It made him sick staying here and every summer he wished he were back at Hogwarts. He really was not sure why he didn´t stay over the summer break but returned each time "home". Surely not for the various happy memories he connected with this house.

“Come on, then. My lab is over there.” Severus gestured to a door. They walked through a dark hallway to the only source of light at its end. Snape opened the door and closed it mindful behind Rose.

The lab too, was not big. Around on the walls were shelves with neatly labelled vials, bottles and boxes. In the middle stood a workbench with a cauldron and other equipment, ready to begin brewing.

As Rose had looked around she gazed at Snape. He stood calm beside the workbench and watched her in return. He was again dressed completely with jacket and cloak today. His arms were crossed above his chest in defensive posture. He looked almost like the Snape she knew from school. Right down to the scowl. All Rose's hopes something might have changed between them dwindled.

“Shall I make a picture for you, so you can stare at me even when I´m not personally there?” he said smirking.

Rose smiled in return but hoped against hope she wouldn't blush yet again.

“No, I´m fine. We can start,” she sputtered nervously but glad that he was apparently not back in nasty-mode.

“Splendid!” With a soft whoosh he shrugged out of his cloak and placed it on a hook next to the door. “I'd like you to prepare some ingredients. I might have an inkling where the biggest problem is.”

He stepped behind the bench and held one hand out, signalling Rose to follow. As she stood beside him, she saw different ingredients, already laid out and labelled with an instruction what to do with them. So she started to chop, grind, press, slice, drain, dice, skin and what else one could do for preparing. Snape stood all the time less than a step away and watched her every movement. He said nothing and made no sound, only stroked and tapped his chin every now and then.

After nearly one and a half hour Rose laid the pestle aside and turned her head to Snape.

“Well…” Snape said with a deep sigh. “Are you with food preparations likewise sloppy?”

“Sloppy?”

“You work not thoroughly enough. Look.” From under the workbench, he took a tablet with the same ingredients but prepared by himself.

He placed his samples to each sample from Rose. Only a fleeting look was enough to see the differences between them.

“Brewing and every necessary step of preparation are not about speed but diligence. When you dice something, take care that the pieces are as uniformly as possible. The same for slicing and chopping. When you skin your ingredient make sure you take only the skin away, not half of your desired product. And for grinding, make rounder movements out of your wrist. Like this.” In a fluent movement, Severus took her wrist. He splayed his index and middle finger over the back of her hand and his thumb pressed into her palm as he demonstrated what he meant.

Rose´s heart stumbled in its beating at his touch and a dark red colour crept up into her cheeks. She could feel the warmth of his body seep into her as he stood so close, with only the slightest space between them. She resisted the urge to lean back, but it was a hard fight and as he finally stepped away bit Rose her lip to supress an unwilling sound.

“I think first of all we need to work on your realisation of the instruction. You need a better understanding of how to prepare the samples,” Severus said after clearing his throat. He´d definitely made a mistake to take her hand and stand so close to her. He barely refrained from shaking his head to clear his thoughts and erase the feeling of her small, soft hand in his. He´d felt her pulse and it had been quick, almost frantic, equalling his own.

Heavens! Professional distance worked different.

Rose didn´t trust her voice so she only nodded but all of a sudden a thought struck her and she felt close to tears. He was so close to her, still stood only a step away, and she wasn´t allowed to touch him. She never would be. Her hand still tingled from his meaningless touch, one never would have any other meaning as to correct her mistakes.

“Rose?” Snape´s voice was puzzled but soft and Rose didn´t dare to look into his eyes. He could read her too well and even beside that she was sure that her thoughts were only too clearly readable.

“I´m not well suddenly,” Rose choked out, clasping one hand over her mouth to stifle the sob which tried to escape. Severus eyed her with increasing discomfort. What should he do? Cautiously he touched her shoulder, but Rose flinched away. Thank Merlin he had not tried anything else. So whatever it was that upset her, he was obviously not the right person to comfort her.

“I see you home, so you can rest.”

Moments later they stood in the kitchen of Number 12 Grimmauld Place.

“Rose!” Sirius jumped from his chair, sorrow clear in his voice. “What have you done with her?” he snapped at Snape.

“She felt unwell and I brought her back!” Snape replied icy. He rushed back into the flames and disappeared without a goodbye or anything else .

“What´s wrong?” Sirius asked and examined Rose´s teary eyes and pale face. She shook her head and shrugged before she left the kitchen and went up into her room. She pulled the blanket over her head and stayed the rest of the day in a fetal position under the covers.

As Sirius knocked to ask if she´d come down for dinner, Rose considered for a brief moment to tell him she was ill and would need time to recover. Even if this wasn´t the case, she was sure Sirius would happily lie for her, but then again Snape was a Potions Master. It was not impossible that he would come by and ask to look after her, trying to provide her with some potions. So no, she would go back. Hopefully a good night´s rest would help her to rebuild her courage. She poked her head out from under her hiding place and declined the offer of food, disappearing again immediately after. Sirius waited a few heartbeats in front of her door, obviously hesitating to go, but finally she heard his footsteps down the stairs.

***

Luckily Rose felt a lot better the next day, mentally and generally prepared to be again close to the man who occupied every thought of her recently. She´d placated her godfather with a tight hug and mumbled afterwards something about women´s issues which worked rather well in shutting him up.

She fixed her smile and stepped once again out of Snape´s fireplace.

“Do you feel better?” he asked cautiously and eyed her once from head to toe.

Rose only nodded and followed him then into his lab where he set her straight to work.

Snape explained that her preparation mistakes would be effectively cured with repetition until the mechanism would imprint itself so she would in future be more efficient. Rose groaned at the prospect but didn´t dare to argue. At least it sounded logical. She prepared and prepared again until she thought either her hands would fall off or she´d die from boredom. Hour after hour she spent in silence next to Snape while he watched her intently until her skin prickled from his attention. He´d demanded silence as long as she worked, for the sake of concentration. But while keeping her mouth shut her thoughts ran wild. She started to dread the time she was locked away in Snape´s prison-like laboratory. But even though she dreaded it, she anticipated her time with him. It really was maddening and the urge to tell him or touch him or better both grew with every passing minute.

On Thursday Snape announced finally that this was the last day of repetition and the next day Rose would brew. She grinned broadly and started to work with new enthusiasm. After an indeterminate time which felt like hours, Rose´s brooding and daydreaming was abruptly interrupted by loud clattering. As she looked up, she saw Snape with his face twisted in pain, slightly bent over and clutching his left arm. He cursed lowly through clenched teeth.

“Sir?” Rose hasted without rethinking to his side, reaching for his shoulder. Snape spun around.

“Don´t!” he hissed and straightened himself. “I need to go. Stay here. I´ll be back.” He marched out of the room and left a more than puzzled Rose behind. Unsure what to do and hoping for a little more information, she followed him out into the corridor but stopped as she heard voices.

“…me again? I don´t know more than yesterday or the day before,” Snape hissed.

“Why do you think she sends me to collect you? She doesn´t trust you, Severus. She'd come herself if she knew where to find you. Please! Don't rile her up.” Rose recognised this second voice. Arrogant and smooth like silk. As silent as possible she crept further on and spied around the corner. Lucius Malfoy! She´d known it.

“There´s not need to take me by the hand. Go ahead. Tell her I´ll follow in a minute. I need to set my potion aside.” Severus waited not for an answer but turned and walked straight towards Rose. Startled she scrambled back but was not fast enough. Snape strode into the corridor. His eyes narrowed into a glare and he pushed her back into his lab just as they heard the distinctive sound of an apparition outside the house.

“Are you suicidal?” Snape´s eyes were blazing with fury. “He could´ve seen you! For fuck's sake, Potter! That is exactly why Bellatrix sent Lucius, to catch me making a mistake. Goddamnit! They want you and that would´ve been their opportunity to get and kill you without hope of rescue from the Order. And Bellatrix would be more than delighted to kill me, too, for my betrayal. Until now she just knows that I will try to come closer to you, but she doesn´t know how close I am already.” His voice was a steady furious hiss while his face hovered only centimetres over her.

“Coming closer to me?” Rose stammered confused, dizzy from his emotions and his breath washing over her face.

“Later. Don´t leave the house!” Once again Severus walked away and this time she heard him apparate too with a cracking sound that left her with the feeling of complete loneliness. Confused Rose looked around.

“Damn! What should that mean ‘I will try to come closer to you’?” she asked herself aloud, pacing back and forth in the lab.

For once she returned to her previous work, trying to calm down and sort her thoughts. 

***

It was already late afternoon, almost evening, as Rose started to worry about Snape´s absence again. He was gone for 3 hours now. Was that still short? Or should he have been back long ago? Unsure Rose started to pace through the house. Briefly she glanced at the fireplace and the Floo Powder on the mantelpiece. If she didn´t come home soon, Sirius and Remus would only worry. But she didn´t want to go home. Not when she had no idea what was with Snape. Maybe he´d come home and needed help.

Considering her options, she searched for a pen and paper. Scribbling a short message.

_Don´t expect me back tonight. We started an experimental potion and it takes longer to than we thought. Snape says I can have the guestroom. I´ll be back tomorrow._

_Love, Rose_

Rereading it several times, she decided this had to be enough and hoped dearly Sirius wouldn´t come to drag her home, but put her hopes on Remus´ calming ability.

“Kreacher?”

With a crack the old house elf appeared and bowed so deep his long pointy nose nearly scratched the floor.

“Miss calls?”

“Please take this back home and give it to Sirius or Remus, but fast. Thanks.” With another crack Kreacher vanished again and with him her note.

Now all she could do was waiting. Again.


	13. Chapter 13

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Rose brewed tea and then returned to the lab, cleaning everything she dared to touch meticulously. Still Severus was not back. She made a new cuppa and sat down in the living room. Severus had loads of books, though nothing she would usually read. She flipped through a few and picked finally one randomly. A treatise about the usage and properties of Venomus Tentacula poison. It was heavy stuff and she tried to concentrate on it as best as possible, but failed as every second thought was about Severus and his prolonging absence. She not even noticed that she referred already the whole day to him with his first name.  

While squinting at the tiny letters, Rose´s eyes drifted close again and again until finally they stayed closed and she dozed off.

A shuffling sound from the door alerted her. With her wand in one hand she fixed her stare on the door, watched how it slowly swung open. She heard a low groan and jumped up.

“Severus!” She hurried through the living room and out into the hallway but stopped dead as she saw him.

At the sound of his name he had looked up and stared directly in Rose´s shock widened eyes, leaning heavy against the wall.

He tried to speak but all what came out of his mouth was a hoarse croak.

“Ssshhh, don´t speak,” Rose whispered, shaking herself out of her horrified stupor. “Come. Let me help you.”

Usually Severus would refuse but today, however, he was grateful for helping hands, even when it was Rose Potter, the only person he wished to keep out of this mess.

Even under the Dark Lord he had never been beaten like this. Hour by hour Bellatrix had tried to make him talk. Had coaxed and cursed him before suddenly attacking him physically. She was determined to proof the Dark Lord wrong with his trust in him. And she was frustrated. She hated hiding in shabby, old, abandoned houses. And she was angry with those people attacking Death Eater families. Ah yes and she still didn't trust him what made him the perfect target. But in the end she'd given up, not completely convinced or less angry but enough that she wouldn´t question his loyalty anymore. Well, at least for today. With this woman one never knew and Severus was more than certain she´d call him again before the week was over.

Soft hands interrupted his train of thoughts. Too weak to protest, he allowed Rose to push him into his bathroom. In the brighter light she sized him up and he closed his eyes as he saw horror darken her gaze.

Rose was more than shocked of the state Severus was in. His clothes were torn and encrusted with dried blood and dirt. His hands shook violently and all over the left side of his face bloomed a nasty bruise. Merlin knew how he even made it home.

Carefully she stepped closer and began to push the cloak from his shoulders what elicited a pained moan from the man and an empathic wince from Rose. Severus swayed and grabbed for the wall, but finally his legs gave way and he collapsed to the ground. Rose had tried to hold him and soften his fall, but he was too heavy for her and too tall. The only thing she could do was to position him as comfortable as possible on the floor, what caused another string of moans.

Rose tried not to flinch and battled the tears that threatened to obscure her vision. She started again as gentle as possible to undress him and at least peel his jacket and shirt off to get a better overview.

Rose swallowed. His chest and abdomen were more one big bruise than normal skin and everywhere was blood from several cuts.

Helplessly she peered at Severus, but he had his eyes closed, his head lolled to one side. He looked like he´d lost consciousness.

"Severus?" Rose asked timidly and touched his cheek. He did not move and Rose had no real idea what to do. He needed help, rather obvious, but who could she call? Dumbledore maybe. But where was the Headmaster over summer? Still at Hogwarts? Madam Pomfrey knew certainly what to do. But here the same problem, where was the matron in the holidays?

Inhaling deeply, Rose decided to start alone. Maybe it looked worse than it really was. And if Severus regained consciousness he could help or advise her. She wetted a washcloth and dabbed the blood from Severus´ skin. At the first contact with the cold water he stirred and blinked his eyes open.

Some of the cuts on his chest and abdomen were deep and needed treatment. Rose hated that she couldn´t use magic at the moment. She stood up and searched instead the medicine cabinet. Luckily she found some bandages so she could at least bind his wounds up.

Severus waited until Rose had finished patching him up then he tried to sit. It took him several attempts but finally he sat up, his back against the wall. His gaze drifted to Rose.

“Not bad,” he croaked nearly unrecognisable, his voice too strained from all the previous screaming and gestured feebly at his torso and the wounds. “Pain…My lab…”

“Am I to go there? Or want you go there?” Rose inquired and hoped the first.

With another feeble gesture Severus pointed on his chest.

Rose sighed and rubbed over her forehead. She couldn´t help him much, he had to walk alone.

“You have to stand up. You think you can do that?” Rose asked and tried to pull him to his feet.

Severus took a deep breath and winced. Breathing hurt, most likely he had at least one broken rib. Rose tugged on his arm and tediously slow he stood up, though it was harder than he’d thought. The bathroom floor seemed to suck him down. Rose gave her very best to help him, but she had not the strength to do much. But eventually he stood, panting heavy and sweat glistening on his skin. Though then came the way to his lab and it took them much longer than he liked to get there.

In one of his cupboards he had potions which would help now. But his hands shook still too much so he gestured at them. After the first vial had dropped out of his numb fingers Rose held the potions to his lips. All the time Severus swayed dangerously, but he managed to remain standing until he´d swallowed the last potion then buckled his knees.

Sprawled on the floor he waited for the potions effects to kick in.

At some point he must have fainted because as he blinked his eyes open again, Rose sat next to him, stroking lightly sweaty strands of hair out of his face, murmuring soft reassuring words.

Wincing Severus sat up.

“Rose,” he rasped.

“Shsh, ´s ok. Spare your voice.” She gazed at him and Severus wondered about the expression in her eyes. Could it be she truly cared about him? His heart got heavy with this thought. She was too close. She shouldn´t care, it was too dangerous.

“I help you up. Come.” She took his clammy hands in her warm ones and helped him up. She guided him over in his living room and made sure he sat comfortable as she draped a blanket over his still bare shoulders, covering the bruises.

“Do you have bruise salve?”

Feeling a lot better in front of the warm fire, Severus nodded. “Bathroom.”

It took Rose not long to find the salve and she brought the small jar to Snape.

“Can you apply it yourself?”

He inclined his head in agreement but waited.

“Uhm…I go and make you some tea and maybe...are you hungry?” It was clear that he wanted a moment in private so she better looked for something to occupy herself with and calm down again.

Rose busied herself in the small kitchen. She made tea and searched through the cupboards, shaking her head. Apparently Severus ate not frequently or he was due with shopping, possibly both. But after a minor search she had enough food for a chicken soup. Practised she cut the vegetables and chicken into pieces and put everything in a pot for stewing. Pleased she took the tea and walked over to Snape.

He had changed into new clean clothes in the meantime and looked much better than half an hour ago.

“How do you feel?” Rose held one cup out to him. Thankfully Severus accepted it and leant back into the chair.

His raw throat protested at the first contact with the hot tea, but the warmth did him good and soon swallowing became easier.

“I will be ok. It takes some time for the potions to work,” he whispered and coughed, “Why are you still here?”

“I was worried.”

His face was blank as he gazed at her.

“Why?” he asked finally.

Rose swallowed and drank a bit from her tea. How should she answer?

“I like you.” It was at least no lie. “I mean, the last weeks have changed how I think about you and I couldn´t go without knowing if you´ll be ok,” she shrugged and added, "Besides, you own me an explanation."

“You called me Severus…” he said without reacting to her statement. A small part of him treasured that she said she liked him. He supressed a smile.

“I´m sorry, I didn´t mean to be disrespectful.” And again she felt a blush reddening her cheeks. Damn, she hated it.

A low rumbled chuckle resonated through the room that reminded Severus painfully to not strain his throat too much.

“I book it as exceptional situation.”

They sat a moment in silence until Rose jumped up.

“Blimey! The soup!” She dashed out of the room and came a few minutes later back with two bowls of steaming soup. “Your kitchen is not overly well stocked…” she remarked with a raised eyebrow.

“I mostly don´t bother with eating…”

“Don´t bother? Your on-hand food supply looks more like your starving.”

“I assure you that this is not the case…It´s pretty good, your soup,” he added and ate slowly and cautiously. Rose smiled and once again they fell silent.

“Hm, what about Black and Lupin? They´re certainly worried about your whereabouts,” Snape asked and placed his empty bowl on the floor. It was the last thing he needed right now, those two bolting into his home demanding answers.

“No, I´ve sent them a message that I´ll stay overnight.” Rose grinned.

“Indeed?”

“I said nothing about your summoning. I told them we had an experiment that took longer than expected…”

“Cunning…So they´re not suspicious?” Severus arched an eyebrow.

“Oh I bet they are. And Sirius will give me certainly a good telling-off when I´m back.” Rose sighed. It didn't matter this situation was so twisted either way would've been the wrong.

“You don´t tell anyone about tonight.” It was clear that this was no suggestion.

“If this were my plan I´d done it hours ago and your house would be now second headquarter for the Order.” Snape opened his mouth again, but Rose stopped him, “No! No further discussion. You still look horrible. You should go and get some sleep.”

Though he wasn´t planning to admit it openly, she was right. He needed some rest more then urgently. Tomorrow he´d be back to his old self, well mostly.

“You should rest too. There is a small guestroom upstairs.” Cautiously he rose and felt once again how wracked his body was. Rose waited unsure if he would lead her.

Severus held his hand out to her and finally put a hand on her shoulder not only to show her the way but for his balance too.

Rose felt him swaying and pulled his arm over to her other shoulder so she could stabilise him. The firm weight of his arm was comfortable and exciting at the same time. It made her tingly and she wished she could pull him even a little closer as they already were.

On the upper floor were only two doors. The first was Snape´s bedroom into which Rose helped him until he sat securely on his bed.

“The second door is the guestroom,” Severus said unnecessarily. "We´ll talk tomorrow."

“Ok. Good night.” Rose looked down at him and for a short moment she thought about kissing him on the cheek, but the moment passed and so she left the room. Before she closed the door she looked back and saw that Severus lay already on his back, fast asleep.


	14. Chapter 14

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Rose woke as a delicious smell reached her nose. The very first moment, she was confused and had no idea where she was and why she´d slept in her clothes, but then she remembered. Quickly she got up and went down into the kitchen just to find Snape clad with an apron working on the stove. She leant against the doorframe and watched him with a grin.

Only when he turned to take two plates from the kitchen counter he saw her.

“Good morning!” His voice was a lot better, only slightly rough. He also held himself not as stiff as last night and the bruise on his face was already fading to a green shadow.

“Good morning. How do you feel?” Rose´s brilliant smile got a bit muffled with sorrow.

“I´m good, thanks to my potions.” His gaze was serious. “And your help. Thank you.”

“Is it always that bad?” Rose whispered and worried her bottom lip between her teeth.

“No,” Severus shook his head, “at least it wasn't under the Dark Lord. But with Bellatrix everything is new. She has her own kind of mad.”

Rose nodded and watched lost in thoughts the black smoke floating through the air.

Black smoke!

“Oi! You burn the breakfast!” she shrieked.

Severus spun around and snatched the pan from the oven.

“Great!” he muttered irritated. “Oh yes, very funny, Potter,” he glared as Rose snickered behind her hand.

“Let me see.” She took the pan and a spoon and rescued what there was to rescue. Then she looked again through his cupboards and extended the meal with the meagre remnants of his last groceries.

After breakfast, Severus looked at Rose. He felt reluctant to tell her about the day before or the things Bellatrix wanted in general. Dumbledore should be the one. But after her help, she deserved an explanation and surely she wouldn´t leave before he´d explained everything.

"Well..." Severus leant back in his chair, fiddling on the handle of his mug. Rose's eyes were locked with his as she waited for him to continue.

"You know that the Dark Lord wanted your death because he saw in you a major threat, if not even **the** major threat."

Rose nodded and swallowed.

“Like him, Bellatrix has an aim, one she wants to reach by all means: your death.” Severus took a deep breath, he´d really prefer not to explain all this to Rose. But which choice he had? “You are the reason her beloved Master was killed. She lives since then in hiding. She did before, but under the Dark Lord´s protection. She always strived for more, she always wanted to be his second in command, the one he´d turn to in times of need. You took that from her and now she´s driven by vengeance.”

“Yes, but where do you come in?” Rose frowned.

“Bellatrix does neither like me nor does she trust me, but she values my close position to Dumbledore and to you so…” he said, but Rose interrupted him, obviously agitated.

“But if she doesn´t trust you, what reason has she to call you?” The tea in her hand sloshed dangerously close at the rim of the cup as she plonked it back on the table. Severus reached for it and pulled it away from Rose.

“She calls me because she thinks she has control over me by inflicting me with pain through the Mark. She knows I will follow her call because only then the pain stops. It is brutal but effective. Everything else, her unnecessary violence, is a product of her frustration.  She has not much support. They are only thirteen and torturing those could leave her being alone or worse, dead, while someone else claims her position. She won´t risk that. But I on the other side, though valuable for information, am still disposable. I know that and I have to make sure she “invites” me back. I can´t know what she plans when I´m not there and being there means playing my role as Death Eater. And yes, a role it is. But that’s why I told her I´d be closer to you than she assumed, with me tutoring you privately. Bellatrix is delighted because she thinks she can force me to “deliver” you to her.” Severus huffed in exasperation.

“You wouldn´t, would you? I mean…That is not why you´re suddenly so nice, right?” Rose asked and stared at him with wide, frightened eyes.

Severus shook his head, hadn´t she heard what he had said?

"Don't be silly!” His gaze was stern. “Rose, do you really think I would tell you all this and act nice only to make it easier to betray you and lead you to your slaughter? After all I´ve risked?" He stood up and walked over to the sink. Looking out of the window. Thinking.

"I swore to protect you. All those years ago after your parents died. And I don't mean to stop it now, absolutely irrelevant if Bellatrix tortures the shit out of me or not!" He spat the last part furiously. Not furious with Rose but with the whole situation and his inability to change anything.

As he turned to Rose, he saw how she bowed her head, her body trembling.

Heavens, he should better think before he spoke. Something he should be familiar with.

Slowly Severus crouched in front of Rose and took her hands in his. This time she didn´t flinch away. "Shush, Rose. I´m sorry."

"I don't want you to get hurt because of me," she whispered brokenly between sobs.

It cost Severus´ whole self-control to not pull her in his arms and assure her everything would be all right. Somehow his long cultivated distance had gone downhill over the last weeks. He sighed and stroked with his thumbs over the backs of her hands.

"It's not your fault. In my position, I'm always on the risk to get hurt. But it's not the first time in my life and certainly not the last time and when that means that the Light is save, that you are save, then it's worth it."

Silence spread between them, only interrupted by Rose's occasionally sniffing.

But finally she looked up, confused. "I still don't understand it all. You try to protect me? Then why the hell have you never told me? And why have you been always so mean?"

Severus closed his eyes. But of course, of things he had said that was what occupied her. A pity he felt no desire to let her further in to his personal thoughts and actions. She was already closer than she should be. **He** was closer than he should be right now. Standing up, he peered down at Rose. "Why should I? Had you been this way less inclined to risk your life on every possibility presenting itself?" he asked, his trademark scowl sliding in place.

Rose stared at him. Was he kidding? Couldn´t he see that it would´ve changed everything if he´d been nice all the time? That she never had mistrusted him? That everything between them could have been so much easier?

“I don´t understand why you would waste energy to safe someone you dislike. Someone you treat only with disdain and who you give the feeling to be nothing more than a pesky bug under your shoe.” Rose´s voice grew louder, almost petulant.

Severus took a calming breath. Hadn´t they already established that he didn´t dislike her? Hadn´t it been obvious to her the recent time?

“Dumbledore took my promise. Isn´t that enough?” he said evasively.

“So, you do it for Dumbledore. But why…”

“No. I do it for you,” Severus interrupted her impatiently. “Damnit Rose, I care about you. I've never wanted to, but here we are.” He indeed gestured around his kitchen, huffing in frustration. “I always tried to protect you. Through your first three school years it was more protection from yourself than anything else, but then in your fourth year that effin Goblet spat out your name. You have no idea…I was furious and all Dumbledore did was smiling and reassuring everyone you´d do it. Merlin, this whole Tournament reeked of trap! And I was right, wasn't I? Sadly. But you weathered it nonetheless, with flying colours. I dared to hope it would all be good in the end, only for you to start having those bloody visions. You made me furious with your inability, your refusal to learn how to stop them. God, you really have no idea how frustrated I was and then you risked your life yet again and nearly died in the Ministry… That is why I stayed. I couldn´t leave before I knew if you are alive or not. And I´m worried sick because of Bellatrix and her lunatic ideas and that she could snatch you away without letting me know, without the chance to prevent it.” Severus snapped his mouth shut, stopping himself before he rambled further on, having already revealed far too much.

“How can you say all those things and claim that you care about me and at the same time you are such an asshole in school?” Rose stared at him. His behaviour over all the time was what really bothered her and with that his whole revelation made no sense to her. And above all she had called him an asshole…Warily she waited for his reaction, for his wrath that certainly was about to come over her.

Severus sat down on the edge of the table and raked one hand through his hair. All of this was so complicated and of course it made no sense to her. She had no idea how his life really was.

“I am a spy,” he said finally, searching for her eyes and waited until she looked at him. “Everyone I care about is in constant danger. So I keep my distance. And that is far easier when I´m not nice to you. My distance is what keeps you safe in case someone breaks through my Occlumency barrier. Think about what would´ve happened if the Dark Lord had seen a connection between us. I couldn´t risk it.”

“But you…You don´t keep your distance with me lately,” Rose said and looked back down to her hands, a fresh red tinging her cheeks.

“Yes. And it´s dangerous. I shouldn´t do it. Bellatrix might be not as adept in Legilimency as the Dark Lord had been, but she´s still not to underestimate.”

 “So everything changes again when we´re back in Hogwarts?” she asked quietly.

“What do you mean?” Severus peered down at her, brows furrowed.

“This. We. Our relationship changed so much over the last weeks. And I don´t want the old Snape back. I mean, I understand your motives, or I hope I understand them, but as it is at the moment…I like you and I don´t want you going back to hate me, even if it´s fake.” Not to mention that it would possibly break her heart now that she knew how different he could be.

“We will spend a lot of time together. I´m sure we figure it out,” Severus said with a sigh. He had no plan or idea how it would develop between them and he also planned not to think himself into knots until it was necessary.

Rose pondered about that for a moment and then smiled.

“Even if you return to being mean, at least now I know it´s because in some twisted way it´s your way to show you like me. I think I can accept that.”

Against better knowledge Severus relaxed his posture and chuckled.

“Actually, I should be lucky that you have so much of your father. It makes everything much easier.”

“Foolhardy, reckless, arrogant, self-referred Gryffindor to your service,” Rose said and couldn´t help the giggle bubbling from her throat.

Severus smiled too and replied almost fondly, "Incorrigible brat."

After this unveiling conversation, Rose helped Snape cleaning up their breakfast before he ordered her to go back to Grimmauld Place to calm down Black. Besides he had after the recent summoning other things to cover and most importantly to visit Dumbledore.

“Do I see you next week?” Rose asked hopefully before her departure.

“I don´t think so. I´m already late with preparations for first term. But we continue your lessons back in school. I´ll let you know when.”

“Be safe!” She hesitated. She felt like she should do something but then again this was still Snape so she turned and stepped in the flames.

***

Back at home, it was exactly as Rose had imagined it. Sirius and Remus were worried sick and it had been only for Remus that Sirius hadn´t come to get her.

Sirius ranted on and on about Snape and his untrustworthy behaviour. At some point, Rose was simply tired of his tirades and dismissed herself to her room. Locking her door, she crawled into her bed, wondering what Severus did right now.

And her thoughts went back to their conversation. All the things he´d said about her being save and he´d protect her, that he cared about her.

Meant that he liked her?

Rose's heartbeat sped up. Maybe he could feel more? Return her feelings?

“No!” her head insisted. Snape might like her but never in a way she wished he would. That was impossible. Most likely his feelings were more like Sirius´ or Remus´ if at all.

***

Rose was gone. For about an hour already and Severus, still, stood in front of the fireplace, staring into the flames.

What had happened this morning?

Had he really admitted that he cared about her? That he took every torture willingly when it meant that she was safe? For Merlin's sake! What had he thought?

Not that is wasn´t true, it was. He would do anything to protect her. Though, maybe he had to proof exactly that with Bellatrix on the loose.

Oh dear! Rose meant already too much to him. Since when had his caring developed into something else? Something more? What happened between pretending she was only an arrogant, insolent likeness of her father and now?

_Oh maybe you simply recognised her as a rather attractive young woman. A young woman that is not Lily but the closest to her you can get_ , said a small nasty voice in his head.

But it was not entirely wrong, was it? Ever since the day he had blindfolded her. A picture he couldn't ban from his mind anymore: Rose, blindfolded with parted, full, pink lips.

But he saw her not as Lily, he could never do that. He saw her as what she was. Her own person. Rose.

Oh Merlin. Rose...Lily's little daughter. The girl he should watch over. Only that she was no child anymore.

Damn it!

With his mind in turmoil, he dismissed his previous considerations to go to Dumbledore and summoned instead a bottle of Whiskey. He needed an escape now, even if only temporary.


	15. Chapter 15

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Rose woke with a bad taste in her mouth. Looking around, she tried to blink to see clearer, but her eyes seemed to be strangely dry and everything kept to be blurry. She grabbed her glassed but they didn’t improve her sight, more the opposite.

“Damn,” she mumbled as she remembered. Sleeping with contact lenses was not very clever, quite obvious. Why had she tried them at all as Sirius had knocked last evening to give them to her? She had waited for weeks now she could surely have waited until today…But no, stubborn as she was she had to try them at once. Sirius had waited and smiled as he saw her. They´d talked a bit but cautiously circumvented every topic regarding Snape until finally Rose had apologised for making Sirius worry. She´d told him she hadn´t thought it would be a big deal and that she´d been so excited because of the experiment. Sirius had accepted her explanations, though grudgingly, but was glad too to put this argument aside.

Rose sighed. She´d been so tired and still so confused that she´d fallen asleep as soon as Sirius was gone. Now she had to cope with her own idiocy. Like so often. She stretched and yawned and went over into her small bathroom. A look in the mirror showed: red, swollen eyes and ruffled hair.

Today was Saturday what meant she was supposed to meet with Hermione and the Weasley´s in Diagon Alley. They all wanted to go and buy the school equipment. Rose had been excited about the prospect to spend time with her friends, but somehow that excitement had vanished with everything that happened with Severus. Good she had still one hour to get ready and search for her good mood. There was really no need to pout and in the worst case alert Ron. With a nod to her mirror-self, she removed the lenses and stepped under the shower.

***

5 minutes to 10 she still waited for Sirius to finish breakfast.

“Please Sirius, hurry up already! We're going to be late!” It felt like the hundreds time she tried to shorten things.

“Rosie, my sweet, short-tempered darling-goddaughter. You'll be there in time. Promise!” He grinned and buttered a new slice of bread. Chewing happily, he came finally over, grabbed her hand and apparated them into the Leaky Cauldron, right in front of the innkeeper Tom.

“Two minutes, Sirius! Are you kidding me?” Rose snapped not too silent what drew curious glances over to them.

But a scream of joy prevented further ranting as Hermione ran over and flung herself onto Rose. The two girls embraced each other until Ron appeared out of the fireplace.

“Ladies!” he greeted them with the world´s biggest grin. “Hey Rose, what happened to your glasses?”

“You like it? I thought I smeared enough dust, dirt, blood and basilisk-ish liquids on them so I bought contact lenses,” she joked lightly. “Besides Quidditch in rain is easier now.”

“You look great!” Ron nodded and blushed slightly.

10 minutes later the whole shopping party emerged into Diagon Alley. Ron, Hermione and Rose waved goodbye and disappeared into the crowd to buy their school supplies on their own.

After seeing Madam Malkin for new robes they headed down to Flourish & Blotts.

“Oi, let's go better to Fortescue....it’s so awful full in here,” Ron whined as they entered the book shop.

Rose and Hermione shared an amused look but turned to leave the, indeed, overfilled shop.

They ate happily their ice and started discussing their OWLs and therefore which classes they would take. Of course, Hermione was the best of them with only one Exceeds Expectations and other than that only Outstanding’s. But she and Rose would have most of their lessons together, except Arithmancy which Rose hadn´t chosen back in third year.

“So, this year we take Potions without you,” Hermione said to Ron. “Will definitely be strange…”

“Yes, right. I mean we had a lot of fun, the three of us, even with Snape´s favouritism and his desire to make life difficult for everyone not Slytherin,” Rose said and ignored generously Hermione´s knowing glance.

“What about your extra lessons, will you continue when school starts?” Hermione asked.

“I´m afraid I have no choice. Dumbledore wants it. So yes, you have two evenings and one whole day on weekends without me…” Rose suppressed a smile, actually she was looking forward to that times.

“Uh by Merlin´s ragged old....”

“Ronald!” Hermione interrupted him and slapped his upper arm.

“What? It would've ended tailcoat...Tailcoat Hermione!”

Rose smiled during their little banter and tried to stop thinking about Severus. It made her too emotional, especially after their last conversation, and she didn´t want to explain and discuss this with Ron in earshot...ever.

Two hours later the three of them met with Sirius and the Weasley´s. However, before they started their way back to Grimmauld Place, they payed Fred and George a visit. Their shop "Weasley's Wizard Wheezes" was exactly the place Filch would have nightmares of. Surely the list with forbidden objects would be this year even longer than usual.

While Ron browsed through the shelves of different joke articles, Fred took Rose aside to treat her with a VIP-tour while George and Hermione slipped secretly into an adjoining room.

“Fred, stop please,” Rose said as Fred pulled her to the next shelve. He stopped and frowned briefly. “Can we go somewhere quieter?”

Fred led the way into a backroom and turned expectantly. Rose smiled sheepishly.

“You aren´t angry, are you? Because the other day…” she asked finally what bothered her for weeks now. Fred´s expression changed into serious, his usual smirk vanished completely.

“Rose, of course I´m not angry, nor is George. I like you, very much in fact, but what can I do? If you don´t feel the same…I can´t force you, can I?”

“I´m sorry.”

“For what? That you fancy someone else? I beg you, that´s rubbish!”

Rose looked up at Fred´s determined but somewhat sad face and she felt horrible and wished it was him and not Snape she had feelings for. Her heart ached at the thought of Severus and tears started to drip down her cheeks. Why the hell could nothing be ever simple in her life?

“Oh Rose…” Fred said softly and embraced her. Certainly he thought it was because she felt guilty or something.

But being wrapped in Fred´s surprisingly strong arms made her long only more for Severus. Though she knew that would never happen. Sooner or later she´d have to give someone else a try.

She looked up and met Fred´s warm hazel eyes. She swallowed heavily as he leant closer in. There was no way to misinterpret what he wanted to do. For a brief moment Rose thought about it, but she knew it would be wrong.

“Sorry,” she said with an apologetic smile and pushed Fred away.

Fred nodded, solemnly.

“No, I´m sorry. Just forget it, ok?”

In the front of the shop they heard Mrs Weasley´s anxious voice as she looked for Rose and Hermione.

“You must go, or mom turns the shop upside down to find you.” The familiar amused twinkle was back in Fred´s eyes, though it appeared slightly dimmed.

“Girls! There you are and…of course my twins, where have you been?” Mrs Weasley asked but shooed them already out of the shop.

“Are you ok?” Hermione asked out on the street and pulled Rose a few steps away from the others.

“Yeah, I think so…But I´ll tell you later.”

After a short snack they travelled back to No. 12 Grimmauld Place where all of them would stay for the last week until first of September.

As soon as possible, Hermione dragged Rose away from the others and out into the backyard.

“Tell!”

“Fred tried to kiss me,” Rose answered bluntly and saw how Hermione´s eyes widened.

“Oooooh!” Hermione cried, “Really? But…Snape?” The last word she only whispered but Rose looked nonetheless carefully around.

“We haven´t kissed. I couldn´t, right because of him.”

“And now?” Hermione stared at Rose.

“I don´t know. But it gets worse,” Rose admitted and hung her head.

“With your feelings for Snape?”

Rose nodded crestfallen.

“It´s awful. Why didn´t I fall in love with Fred? It would be so much easier.”

Rose slumped down and leant her back against the wall. Hermione sat next to her, leaning her shoulder against Rose´s.

“It doesn´t look like it´ll be done with waiting until it´s over, don´t you think?”

“Yes. But I can´t do a shit about it. And I see him so often. Oh Mione…What am I to do?” Rose wrapped her arms around herself. Really why was it always she who found herself in such situations?

“I don´t know…Really…But what if you give Fred a chance?”

“I thought that too and I like him but it wouldn´t be fair. I don´t feel the way he feels. And then how could I give someone a chance when I think all the time about someone else? That's wrong on so many levels.” Rose shook her head.

“Yes, but you and Snape will also never happen…” Hermione slapped a hand over her mouth. “Oh Rose, I´m sorry that was…I haven´t thought!”

“Yeah…But you´re right, aren´t you? He doesn´t love me and he never will. He likes me somehow but in a way...I don't know. I just wished I could forget him and find someone else.” Rose was tempted to tell Hermione of her last conversation with Snape but she didn´t. Instead she rested her forehead against her knees and closed her eyes.


	16. Chapter 16

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Even though Rose´s feelings were quite chaotic recently, she found enough distraction with the Weasley´s in the house. However, she woke still every morning at dawn and imagined Severus strolling around and watching the sunrise. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn´t stop thinking about him. And she missed their daily lessons. If he thought about her too, sometimes?

“Hellllloooo…Earth to Rose!” Ginny said and waggled her hand in front of Rose´s face.

Rose looked confused around and then giggled.

“Sorry, lost in thoughts.”

“Yes, we could see that. Something interesting?” Ginny grinned.

“Actually I thought about Snape and my lessons…”

Hermione perked up and regarded Rose with a frown.

“Rose, please. Let me enjoy my last Snape-free days, will you?” Ron whined and then added with a disbelieving scrunched face, “I really don´t get why you´re so eager to have extra lessons with the git.”

Rose opened her mouth to put Ron´s statement into perspective as suddenly the twins stood in the middle of the room.

“Oi! You´re so annoying. Can´t you just walk normal into a room like everyone else?” Ron shouted.

“You´re all supposed to come down into the kitchen,” George said ignoring his brother.

Fred gave Rose an odd look before he turned and led together with George the way down into the kitchen. Arriving there they found the room full of Order members.

“Rose!” Dumbledore greeted her from the other side of the table. Next to him stood Severus, who looked dark and grumpily around the happy chatting people.

Rose walked over to them or better squeezed her way through the crowd.

“Hello Professor Dumbledore. Professor Snape!” She smiled and was sure to see the slightest twitch of Severus´ lips too as he inclined his head in way of greeting.

“How´s your progress in Potions, dear girl?” Dumbledore asked, obviously amused as he watched the silent exchange between Rose and Severus.

“Oh, I would say not bad but maybe you should better ask Professor Snape.” Rose shrugged and glanced at the before mentioned. Somehow it was strange to see him suddenly out of their private lessons where the atmosphere between them had changed so drastically.

Dumbledore gazed at Severus and the twinkling in his eyes grew brighter.

“Like Miss Potter already said, it´s not bad.” Snape´s voice was neutral and he kept a straight face, though Rose caught the faintest hint of amusement in his eyes, now that she knew for what she had to look.

Inwardly Rose grinned at this perfect display of indifference, Dumbledore on the contrary laughed out loud and patted Severus fatherly on the back.

"I'm sure ‘not bad’ is an understatement, dear boy."

Rose chuckled as Severus muttered something about ‘always hears only what suits him best’ and took the seat next to him, ignoring the confused looks of her friends.

She looked up and asked as casual as possible, "How are you?"

Severus gazed back and without consciously wanting it started to relax. A small smile lifted the corners of his lips.

"Thanks to you I'm fine."

"That's good. I was really afraid to see you like this." Rose frowned.

"I'm sorry that you had to," he said and then regarded the girl - woman - before him with a thoughtful look. "Mind if we talk later in private?" he asked before he could stop himself from doing so. He wasn't sure if this was really a good idea but now he had already asked.

Rose opened her mouth to answer as Dumbledore started to speak She glanced through the room. Ron frowned with a 'what are you doing' face, but shrugged. Sirius seemingly tries to murder Severus through dirty looks alone. Rose sighing and shifted her attention to Dumbledore.

“Good evening! I´m sorry to call you this suddenly, but there are important matters to discuss, which allow no delay.”

“Albus, the kids!” Molly Weasley piped up.

“Yes, Molly, I want them to hear all of it. It´s important and we also expect others.” He glanced at the clock and then to the fire that turned promptly green, almost if ordered.

“Ah, splendid!”

Out of the fire stumbled first Neville and after him Luna.

“Welcome my dears. Take a seat or a place you can stand, it´s a bit full tonight.” Dumbledore waved them in but looked again to the fire. While the newly arrived were greeted the fire flared green again.

Rose choked as Draco Malfoy and his mother stepped into the kitchen.

Severus went rigid at her side, with Malfoys in the same room his cover as spy was blown. “What are they doing here?” he snapped at Dumbledore.

“I invited them,” Dumbledore said placantingly and added loud enough for the rest of the room, “Draco and Narcissa are our guests and new allies.” He waited a short moment until the room became quiet again.

Rose watched Draco, he looked even paler than usual and as if he had cried a lot recently. Maybe it was not as easy for him that his father was a sought Death Eater as she´d thought. She´d always assumed he were proud of the connection to Voldemort but seeing him now she was not that sure anymore.

“You all know about the events in the Ministry, a good deal of you were there. But anyway a short sketch: Rose and her friends left Hogwarts to rescue Sirius. Rose thought he would be tortured by Voldemort. A cunning bait. As the Order got aware of it we joined our young fighters in the Ministry. Rose fought a seemingly forlorn battle but with more than a bit of luck she didn´t only survive but defeated Voldemort. I know I skipped the topic over the last weeks but now I say it exactly like this: He is defeated. I am more than sure."

“Indeed? How?” A small witch, Rose had never seen before, whispered with big eyes.

“Well, that is a bit complicated.” Dumbledore winked at Rose who shook her head with a short smile. Severus turned to her, his gaze puzzled. Rose shrugged apologetically. Obviously Dumbledore hadn't let him in on the topic.

“Our dear Rose had a secret even she herself had no knowledge of. She inherited a small piece of Tom Riddles soul. In the night he tried to kill her, a strong magical protection saved her life: the love of her mother.

But Tom´s willingly attempted murder tore his soul apart. His body was destroyed and what remained was a part of his soul. But a soul needs a living body and so Rose became host for this soul fragment.

Rose´s death in the Ministry was primary the death of Tom Riddle´s soul. Rose on her part had the choice and obviously, she decided to live and come back to us.” Again Dumbledore looked at Rose and smiled. “Unfortunately that does not mean the end of our problems. A new group has formed and as far as we know they seek revenge for all the wrong Voldemort and his followers did. They afflict the families of known Death Eaters and torture them. There are children brutally violated for sins they have not committed. This group is also the reason why Lady Malfoy and her son are here tonight. I promised my help from persecution. And I hope they can find here shelter, as long as needed.” Dumbledore looked across the table to Sirius. For a moment it seemed as he wanted to argue but Remus put a hand on his arm and reluctantly he nodded.

“Yes, Albus. There are two spare rooms upstairs.”

“I´m glad to hear this. And I´m sorry to say that we have a third point for tonight. Until now only eleven of Voldemort´s followers could be imprisoned. The rest is still on the run but has regrouped. They plan to continue what…” The sudden sound of anguish interrupted him. Severus had jumped up from his chair, growling and cursing in pain. He made a step past Rose as the second wave of pain crashed over him, almost doubling him over. Rose grabbed his arm in the attempt to steady him. Their gazes met for a split second. Severus covered Rose´s hand with his then turned away and apparated.

Rose stood still with her back to the room and stared at the point Severus still had been only moments before. Her heart fought with every beat against the fear that grasped it with steely claws.

A warm hand came to rest on her shoulder. She turned and looked directly in Dumbledore´s blue eyes.

“Severus told me about the last call and how you helped him. Don´t be afraid. He´ll come back.” He pushed her down on her chair again, applying soft force and let his hand rest on her shoulder as he raised his voice, “I´m afraid we need to wait for Severus to return. But for clarification, he is still our spy. Please let us stay together and wait for his return."

“But how is that even possible? Weren´t the Dark Marks linked to Voldemort?” Hermione asked into the silence. Almost everyone turned to her, some of them eying her suspiciously others nodding.

Dumbledore sat down again, steepling his fingers in front of him on the table. For a moment he seemed deep in thought, but then he looked up again and nodded.

“The Dark Marks have been indeed linked to Voldemort and the connection had been destroyed after his death. The Marks were fading. Bellatrix found a way to reactivate them. But she did more. She managed to manipulate the Marks in a way which makes it possible for her to summon individual persons. I don´t know yet what she exactly has done, but Severus tries to find that out, too.”

Again Hermione began to speak, “Why can´t we follow Professor Snape? He has to know where he must apparate. We could easily outnumber Bellatrix and the other remaining Death Eaters.”

Dumbledore smiled at her. “You ask clever questions Miss Granger, but believe me, would it be so easy we´d long imprisoned them. Sadly the summoning is no notification with an exact address. I can tell you only what Professor Snape told me. But what he says is that the summoning works like a trigger. The Dark Mark is the link to Bellatrix now. When she activates this link it sends an embedded, subconscious apparition order. It is untraceable and the recipient doesn´t know where he comes out after apparating.”

Hermione once again opened her mouth but Dumbledore stopped her. “Now my dear, we will wait for Professor Snape. When he returns, he will explain some more details.”

“When he comes back,” Rose muttered with an anxious, nagging feeling in the pit of her stomach. Dumbledore turned towards her.

“I know, he was gone for several hours last time, but let´s hope it will take not this long.”

The noise level increased again and Rose was glad as her friends waved her over and handed her a butterbeer.

“You look pale,” Neville said softly, eyeing her cautiously.

“Of course she does. She likes Professor Snape a lot,” Luna said, wearing a surprised expression as if everyone should know that.

“Rose! How can you really like him?” Ron shouted and provoked a lot of gazes to fly to them. Hermione glared at him.

“Sorry,” he muttered and tried to make himself smaller as he ducked his head.

“Why can´t I like him? I worked for six weeks almost daily with him. We had to make things clear and let our problems at least partially behind. We…It´s different now,” Rose said, her voice almost broke at the end.

Both Neville and Ron stared open mouthed at her but had no chance to say anything further as they heard the sound of someone apparating in front of the kitchen.

Rose´s heart pounded faster, her eyes were glued to the door, but then it wasn´t Severus who peeked inside the room.

“Hey everyone! I´m sorry I´m late, but I had a dragon with a cold…nasty thing that.” Charlie Weasley beamed, but his smile faltered as he saw the serious gazes on the faces. “Oi, what did I miss?”

Rose stood closest to him and tugged on his elbow before she filled him in on everything Dumbledore had said so far.

“No matter what you might think of his character, he´s a brave man.” Charlie nodded thoughtfully as Rose had explained why they were still gathered.

Rose couldn´t help but smile as Charlie said so and it made him tenfold more likeable in Rose´s eyes. Thankfully Charlie was also more of a joker like the twins and soon he brightened the whole mood with his story about the dragon that had a cold.


	17. Chapter 17

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Bellatrix stalked around Severus. Her eyes were cold and calculating while Severus cringed in the dirt beneath her feet. Blood leaked from his mouth, since he had bitten his tongue to stop himself from crying his throat raw in pain.

“Bella, you´ll kill him,” Lucius said urgently, stepping to Bellatrix´ side.

“Then let him die!” Bellatrix spat.

“You need him. Think about Potter. Bellatrix.”

Bellatrix jerked her arm away from Lucius´ attempt to placate her, but she lifted the hex on Severus, regardless.

“Are we finished for today?” Severus croaked. He clenched his teeth as he stood yet again up from the dirt, spitting blood. The whole world turned. For fuck´s sake how much he hated this woman.

“No,” Bellatrix snipped and lifted her wand. She made not even the attempt to hide her intention.

“Holy fuck, woman!” Severus shouted, gathering somehow the strength to do so. “Here, take it. Take a stroll through my brain. Have fun.” He was astonished about his anger and the venom of his tone, even though he felt like trampled by a herd of centaurs and each breath burned through his lungs like acid. With a shuddering exhale he prepared himself for Bellatrix´ invasion of his mind and he had not to wait long. He felt her sift through his mind and stop at a specific memory.

_“Albus, I tell you. They are back. We need to prepare. The Order has to meet,” Severus said, gesturing wildly. Dumbledore stroked his long beard, narrowing his eyes._

_“Can I count on you, Severus?”_

_“Of course you can.”_

_“Then you will spy for me, again?” Dumbledore directed a hopeful gaze at Severus._

_“I´d do anything to help the right side to win.”_

_Severus left the house, a sneering smile on his lips. He looked back at the house, whispering, “Old fool.”_

“Heart-warming, really,” Bellatrix said. “And should that now convince me?”

Severus closed his eyes. He felt tired and dizzy. If Bellatrix wasn´t finished with him soon, he´d collapse right to her feet.

“I hope you´re aware that Dumbledore thinks I referred to his side as the right side.”

“Oh so you mean our side is the right side?” Bellatrix raised her eyebrows and her wand.

“Bella, what else can he say or do to convince you?” Lucius asked.

“Fine,” Bellatrix huffed and pouted. “I believe you. But that doesn´t mean I´m not suspicious anymore. Give me what I want and I´ll consider to give you my trust. Deal?”

“Deal,” Severus rasped and coughed, blood spraying on his hand.

“Oh dear, go and let Dumbledore mollycoddle you and do it better fast, not that you die on my floor.” She scoffed and pointed at the plain earth in front of them.

***

All eyes shot up as the tell-tale plop of apparition sounded through the kitchen and Severus stumbled into the wall. He swayed dangerously and winced as he leant against the wall. Without thinking, Rose jumped to his side and steadied him. He looked awful. Sure it was not as bad as the last time, but still. His clothes were stained with dirt and his blood.  There was blood on his face too, trickling down from his temple and out of his mouth. His breath came in shallow, wheezing puffs and he stood slightly bend forward.

Their eyes met as he fumbled on his cloak to reach the potions that were tucked safely in its depths.

“Rose...” Severus whispered as she brushed his hands away and reached inside the heavy wool. She felt him tremble. Dumbledore mumbled a healing charm as Rose uncorked two vials and handed them to Severus who took them with unsteady fingers but downed them in one go. While he aided his potions, Rose retrieved a cloth out of the shelf, wetted it and gave it to Severus. He mumbled a quiet "thank you" and sat down while dabbing on his face.

It took Severus a few minutes and one Scotch, which Charlie passed with a sympathetic look over to him, to regain his composure enough to stop his body from shaking. All the time Rose held his hand or touched his arm without acknowledging that she did so, her face frozen in an expression of worry and fear.

“Severus, my boy, can you speak?” Dumbledore asked softly, looking down at him with concern. Snape fixed his indifferent expression as good as possible and nodded.

“What have you told them?” he asked Dumbledore.

“Only a rough sketch. Start at the beginning.”

Severus exhaled in a huff and closed for a moment his eyes.

“Two weeks ago Bellatrix managed to reactivate the connection with the Dark Marks. It was crudely but she succeeded in summon me. Since then she experiments and alters the connection further. The summonses are clearer but not less painful. Actually the pain gets worse, but that is exactly what she wants because the summoned will answer her call quicker to evade the pain. Another addition is that she can call a single person. The Dark Lord always activated every Mark at once, Bellatrix can choose. Though I don´t know how. She always was obsessed by blood magic. She possesses an old book about ancient blood magic and spells. She combines different types of magic here.” Severus stopped, reaching for a glass and water.

“Why does she experiment with the Dark Marks, sir?” Obviously Hermione couldn´t help herself and ask.

Severus regarded her unblinking then answered, “She hopes to find a way to free the imprisoned Death Eaters, foremost her husband and his brother. And she seeks power. She tries to secure her position and to keep everyone in check and on her mercy.”

“Professor Dumbledore told us we can´t send the Order with you because you don´t know to where you apparate. How does that work?” Hermione almost jumped up and down on her chair, her thirst for knowledge making her bold.

Severus glanced to Dumbledore, a suffering expression on his face, but Dumbledore nodded.

“The message in the summoning operates on a subconscious level. You apparate on instinct and will be guided only by your subconsciousness. However,” he added slightly louder to stop Hermione from asking anything further, “Bellatrix has an aim and she´s determined to reach it at all costs. She wants Rose dead as payback for the Dark Lords extermination.” A unison gasp went through the room and Rose´s hand on his arm tightened. “The only good point is, they are worn out and only a small group, but their leader is a lunatic maniac with no sense of reluctance against any kind of violence. She doesn´t recoil from any kind of crime.” Severus stopped again, wearily and glanced at Rose.

“Severus, does she still distrust you?” Dumbledore asked.

“I won´t say she trust me, but she is inclined to believe that I play for her. I let her rummage through my mind. She doesn´t know she could only see what I wanted her to see. I showed her an altered version of our meeting after her first call.”

“Good, good,” Dumbledore nodded, thinking. “Thank you Severus. Words alone can´t express my gratitude for the risk you accept. Again. We're all deeply in your debt. I dearly hope it will soon come to a definite end.” With a long look around the room, he closed the meeting.

Severus accepted thankfully a second Scotch passed to him from somewhere up the table and glanced at Rose´s hand on his arm. “Thank you for your help,” he said and laid his hand above hers.

“Are you sure, you´re ok?” Rose inquired, leaning closer to have a better look. Sirius shot her death glares through the room and she noticed others watching them with growing interest too.

“You know it takes some time to fully recover and I feel battered, but yes, I´m ok.” Severus squeezed her hand. He had planned to withdraw his own but felt unwilling to do so and instead stroked gently over her soft skin.

Their eyes met. A bevy of butterflies took flight in Rose´s stomach and then Severus smiled. A real smile that even touched his eyes and made them warm and soft like smooth, black velvet.

"I need to speak to Albus again but if you want we can talk afterwards a moment."

"Ok. Just tell me when you're ready." Rose smiled, stood up and walked with pondering heart over to Hermione.

“You look very close when you´re together,” Hermione whispered.

“Do we? I don't know. Something happened…” She swallowed and glanced back over her shoulder.

“Rose? Were you touching Snape? Did he smile?” Ron asked from behind Hermione.

“Yes. He thanked me.”

Ron´s mouth dropped open. “Damn! That´s creepy.”

“He looked awful, didn´t he?” Neville looked over to their Professor.

“Not as awful as last week…” Rose sighed and promptly slapped herself inwardly for this incautious comment.

“What do you mean? Have you seen him already after a summoning?” Hermione´s voice dipped into a conspiratorial tone.

“Yes…” Rose answered but reluctantly. “He got summoned as I was at his home for my lessons. He was away for hours and as he came back he was in a worse shape than now.”

“You think Bellatrix kills him one day? Or finds out that he´s our spy?” Hermione whispered looking wide-eyed over to Snape.

“He´s a very good Occlumens. She will never know that he´s a spy until it´s too late for her but that doesn´t mean she wouldn´t kill him just for fun or because she´s disappointed that it takes him so long to bring me to her.”

Rose looked at her friends, none of them recognised her pained expression or was aware how her heart ached at the thought, not even Hermione.

Well, except for Luna who gave her an odd look.

"There are a lot of Wirlybees in the room..." Luna said dreamily while looking away.

The friends turned to her.

"Wirly…what?" Rose frowned. She really liked Luna but sometimes she was just crazy.

"Wirlybees. They are always around when there's bad news, bad thoughts and sorrow. You have quite a lot around you Rose, so does Professor Snape."

Rose stared for a moment and then started to laugh. "Oh Luna! You're just the best!"

***

“I´m glad that you and Rose are closer.” Dumbledore´s bright twinkle was back in place.

Of course the old man would at some point come up with this topic.

“What proves you right again, doesn´t it?” Severus was pleased to find his voice steady and almost impassive.

“Oh, I just thought it could be." Dumbledore smiled benignantly but his gaze was somewhat thoughtful if not calculating.  "Rose cares for you. She was very afraid as you were called. And you too feel more than only your promised responsibility for the girl, don´t you, Severus?”

How he made it would maybe always remain a mystery for Severus but somehow Dumbledore could see in your head and heart even without Legilimency. Severus' gaze roamed through the kitchen to Rose. She stood with her friends and talked and laughed. But her smile didn´t, like usually, reach her eyes fully, they remained a little sad. As he looked at her she turned and looked back. A faint pink rose in her cheeks. She looked always beautiful with a blush. But he couldn't say that out loud. Though denying also wouldn't bring him far.

“Rose changed a lot during the last months. She obviously started to grow up and becomes more reasonable." Severus paused but added against better judgement, "I begin probably indeed to care about her." There, that should be for now enough truth for Dumbledore's interfering mind.

Dumbledore nodded but said nothing else. A smile settled on his features that made his face wrinkly like an Abyssinian Shrivelfig. Whatever it was that he saw or read in Severus' words it pleased him obviously tremendously.

 

***

"So what is it you wanted to speak with me about?" Rose asked as she and Snape had left the kitchen under a lot of curious looks.

"Well..." Severus said after a moment where he'd only looked at Rose, "I told you that I like you...and I...I want to make sure that I...that we...You have to get me right there. Our relationship has to stay professional. I´m still your teacher…" Severus stuttered and sneered about his inept performance, especially when considering how often he had taunted Rose with her missing eloquence.

Rose smirked.

"Oi Professor, that's kind of sweet. But honestly, when in the last five years was only one occurrence between us professional? Besides what do you think in which direction our relationship would evolve?" Rose asked curious and couldn´t help the butterflies from darting around inside her.

"Sweet is the last thing I am, Potter!" Severus snarled and considered her with a raised eyebrow. Bloody Merlin, did the girl know what she implied he´d implied? Irritated he pushed the thought away and simply ignored Rose´s second question.

Rose was tempted to say she thought him sweet but that was maybe a trifle too much and thinking of it, sweet was maybe not really the right word when dark, mysterious and sexy were so much more fitting.

"You know I thought a lot about what you said that morning and how things changed over the last weeks. I wonder, why now?” Rose inclined her head slightly, watching Severus intently.

Severus sighed and shook his head.

“I never planned to let you know but like you said, things changed and we came obviously closer than I intended originally.”

“Then I´m glad that it happened. I rather spend a lot of time with a Snape I like than with your mean version.” Rose gave him a tentative smile.

“Just don´t expect too much. When we're too close it brings you only in danger. Bellatrix is no one you should underestimate."

“Yes. I just hope we can continue our truce. I really enjoyed our conversations and I would miss them. Especially when we see each other as often as planned.”

“Truce sounds good.” Severus smiled. Rose smiled back. A soft breeze swished through the backyard.

"Can I ask you something?" Rose asked.

"Always."

"Why do you even came to care about me in the first place? I mean we have quite a history, hm?" She chuckled lightly, causing Severus to smile.

"Honestly? I don't know. It's not like I consciously decided to do so. But then you entered the arena with the dragon and...I'd liked to hex Dumbledore. We argued the whole Tournament about your safety."

"It's strange to hear you say that," Rose admitted. "Even more because you really did an amazing job to let me think you hate me."

"Oh thank you." Severus smirked amused. Rose chuckled again and the mood shifted ever so slightly. Severus couldn't help but stare. His heart beat a fraction faster. Without consideration, he stroked a stray strand of hair out of Rose´s face. Her eyes widened, these unbelievable green eyes, and he realised how close she was. Far too close obviously, as he couldn´t grasp one reasonable thought anymore why not to taste these full pink lips right before him.

Rose's breath stuck in her lungs, her heart tried to escape its cage and her thoughts were in a riot as Severus touched her so tenderly. She stepped subconsciously even closer to him. His eyes were fixed to her lips. Would he kiss her? Oh Merlin she hoped he would. Slowly she lifted her chin. His hand still lingered at her cheek and he was so close she could feel his breath on her face. Her eyes drifted close.

"Rose!" Sirius yelled as the door to the backyard burst open, his anger was visible on every millimetre of his face. "What are you doing here? We're looking for you!"

Rose flinched and Severus took a hasty step away.

She cursed her godfather for his bloody timing.

"I'll see you in Hogwarts," Snape said neutral, his face back in his indifferent state as he turned and walked away with his head held high. Rose wished she could grasp his hand and make him stay but instead she faced Sirius.

"You have no right to interrupt every time we just try to talk!" Rose spat, her eyes twinkling furious. "What do you think does happen when we're alone?"

"You tell me what he does with you!" Sirius retorted equally angry. “It looked not exactly like talking to me!”

Rose opened her mouth to tell him exactly what she thought about his assumptions as Remus appeared in the doorway.

"Everything all right?" He looked from Rose to Sirius and back.

"Oh of course! Splendid!" Rose hissed and stormed inside.

Back in the kitchen, she looked around and found Snape standing with Draco and his mother. She felt a jealous ping as she saw how gentle Snape embraced Narcissa Malfoy, patting her back while he whispered something into her ear.

Draco looked over to Rose and furrowed his brows. Quickly she turned and walked over to Hermione and the twins.

“Rose!” Fred smiled. “We have something for you.” He gave her a slim, square package. Curious she unwrapped it and found a record.

“Oh, thank you! I´ve never heard of the artist.”

“She´s new and well it´s muggle music so…We hope you like it.” Fred shrugged but his gaze lingered expectant on her.

“Thank you so much.” Rose hugged Fred and George and pecked both on the cheek. It was the first time she saw the twins turn red and on a loss for words.


	18. Chapter 18

<<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>> 

The last days of the holidays flew by in a blink and Rose and her friends had nothing to do except to lie outside in the backyard and enjoy the sun.

Narcissa and Draco Malfoy had occupied the two guestrooms on the same floor as Rose´s bedroom, but since the meeting no one had seen them. They appeared not even for meals, so Kreacher served them in their rooms.

“Don´t you think it´s odd?” Ron asked looking up the wall.

“What?” Rose asked following his gaze.

“That Malfoy doesn´t show up.”

“Ron, his father was unmasked as a Death Eater and he and his mom are threatened to get killed, I don´t think he wants company now. Especially not from us.” Hermione lectured him and returned to her book.

“Mione is right. It´s our fault his life´s crashed.”

“No, it´s his father´s fault no one has forced him to be a Death Eater!”

“Yes, ok…still wouldn´t it been for us his dad wouldn't be on the run,” Rose tried to calm down her friends temper. Ron was so easily angered.

“Yeah and Voldemort were still alive,” Ron retorted and crossed his arms over his chest. Rose sighed.

“Yes, Ron. You´re right. But I can understand Malfoy nonetheless.”

“Rose, what the heck is wrong with you? First Snape and now Malfoy? Are you fraternising with Slytherin?”

“Don´t babble rubbish! I just can understand it. And Snape…It is as it is, ok? I won´t have you insulting him all the time. Just live with it, Ron!” she snapped.

Ron looked thunderstruck due to her sudden outburst, but he kept silent.

“You know what? I go upstairs and look after him.” Rose jumped up and jogged to the guestrooms. She hesitated one moment but then knocked anyway.

She heard nothing and was about to knock a second time as the door swung open.

“Potter…” Draco drawled in his usual manner.

“Hey. Are you ok?”

“Why? I don't think it´s any of your business!” He tried to shut the door but Rose put one foot between door and frame.

“Wait! It´s just…Damn Malfoy, I just wanted to be nice.” Rose sighed frustrated and took her foot away. To her surprise Draco opened the door further again.

“What´s wrong with you?” Draco was more than suspicious and crossed his arms in front of him.

“Nothing. I thought maybe you wanted to come down and sit with us in the sun?” Merlin, where came that from?

“I don´t think so. Bye, Potter.”

He shut the door. Rose considered for a moment to go back down but decided against it and went instead into her room.

She put the record from the twins on the turntable and flopped face first onto her bed. Had she really thought he would talk to her? They hated each other since day one…but then…she and Snape had hated each other too. Or not…Whatever. Sometimes strange things happened, especially around Rose.

She stopped thinking as a new song started.

_I can't control my feelings_  
_I can't control my thoughts_  
 _I'm staring at the ceiling_  
 _Wondering how I got so caught_  
  
_You're completely off limits_  
 _For more reasons than just one_  
 _But I can't stop_

Rose snorted derisively and punched her pillow. Perfect song for her mood…  
  
_So I'll remain within your reign_  
 _Until my thoughts can travel somewhere new_  
 _My mind is blind to everything but you_  
 _And I wonder if you wonder about me too_

She hadn´t recognised that she cried until it knocked on her door.

“Shit!” Hurriedly she swiped over her eyes and sniffed. “Yes?” She sniffed again.

“Potter? Are you crying?”

Malfoy…Oh great. Exactly the one she wanted to find her crying over some stupid love song.

“What do you think?” she snapped and sighed, “Sorry. ´S not your fault.”

“Did you really just wondered if I´m ok?” Draco still stood in the doorway unsure if he should enter or leave.

“You´re an idiot, Malfoy!” Rose shook her head but grinned, “You plan to stay there or are you coming in?”

Reluctantly Draco entered Rose´s room and sat down at her desk. Rose stood up and turned the music off. Enough heart breaking songs for today.

Silence unfolded between the two young people. Neither was sure what to say next until Rose asked, “Snape and your mom are close?”

Draco frowned again.

“My dad and he were friends. Severus is my godfather.”

“He is? Blimey! That explains a lot!” Rose slapped herself on the forehead, grinning.

“Why?”

“Malfoy, he favours you so openly that it´s - more often than not - really unfair.” Rose moved back on her bed for a more comfortable position and leant against her headrest. Draco thought for a moment.

“I guess you´re right. How come that you and him are so close recently? I mean I thought I don´t see it as I watched you with him. He even smiled at you! I thought you hate each other.” Draco crossed his legs and looked a lot more like the smug git Rose knew from school.

“Dumbledore obliged him to give me extra lessons in Potions so I can take the advanced course this year. Snape was the last weeks every day here and we hit the books.”

“Oh Merlin!” Draco laughed. The first real laugh in months. “I guess he was furious.”

“He hated it!” Rose laughed too. “But somehow along the way we forgot about our animosities and it turned into…I don´t know. We get along.” Rose shrugged.

Draco shook his head.

“That´s fabulous! Really! And now you try to bury our mutual grudge likewise?” A very Malfoyish sneer played on his lips.

“No, Draco, no…” Rose shook her head vehemently, “I really just wanted to ask if you´re alright. I understand that you have a tough time.”

“You call me Draco? Have I to use Rose now?” An incredulous look appeared on Draco´s face.

“Do what you want, ferret!” Rose threw a pillow at his head. She had never thought it could be fun to sit together with Draco Malfoy and talk. Things really changed nowadays.

"Oi, scarhead!" Draco ducked away and threw the pillow back as soon as he lifted it from the floor.

Of course that was the moment Ron and Hermione burst into Rose´s room.

They looked at each other with a mix of horror and shock.

Hermione was the first who composed herself and sat beside Rose on the bed. Ron still stood in the door, gawping at the scene before him.

“Ron! Close your mouth you look like a dork!” Rose laughed, somehow she had a feeling that the next school year would bring a lot of surprises.

***

At their last evening before their return to school, Mrs Weasley worked not just literally magic in the kitchen. All the Weasley´s, Fleur, Hermione, Sirius, Remus, Rose and Draco, whom Rose had persuaded to come down too, sat around the kitchen table and feasted on all the treats Mrs Weasley had prepared.

“Oh Molly, would you please stay? Your cooking skills are so much better than what Kreacher calls cooking!” Sirius pleaded between two bites.

“Sirius!” both Rose and Hermione shouted glaring at him from over the table.

“What? It´s true! The last weeks he only cooked decently because of Rose. When I´m again alone with him he´ll starve me to death with his cooking ‘skills’” He put quotation marks with his index fingers in the air on his last word. Rose looked up, confused why Sirius would be alone when Remus was still here, but Remus already spoke up before she could say anything.

“I´ll send you supply bags.” Remus grinned sweetly.

“Yes, yes, of course you will,” Sirius pouted but his gazes flickered repeatedly over to Remus.

"Remus, won't you stay here?" Molly asked into the silence.

"Er, well..." Remus looked up and then a smile spread over his face. "Albus asked if I'd come back as Defence teacher and I agreed."

For a brief, a very brief moment, nothing happened but then everyone cheered and congratulated Remus but loudest of all those who would return to Hogwarts.

Rose was as happy as everyone else but could also not supress the sigh as she watched her godfather. He smiled tight-lipped and gave Remus longing glances whenever Remus wouldn´t look. Remus on the other hand sneaked sheepish half-glances to Sirius.

Rose shook her head. Like chances were the man would only confess their feelings for each other when it was too late, probably under a lot of tears on their death beds.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song Rose hears is “Wonder” by Lauren Aquilina which was also the title giving song for this part.  
> And talking about part 1, well that was it. I hope you liked it. Part 2 will be uploaded with equal frequency, starting most likely tomorrow (depends on how ill myself and my little boy are *cold sucks*)


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